-Look forward-

The key

2012-02-04T13:27:00.001+11:00

Yesterday I got my spare key back from R. No it wasn't the first time I saw him since I got back from hk, last week I caught him walking pass Gloria jeans and somehow I reacted like a little wimp and hid behind the coffee machine hoping he couldn't spot me as well. After that I couldn't really concentrate on work, my heart was racing, hands were shaking, this feeling kinda reminded me of how I freaked out 2 years ago when I found out that I was foolish enough to waste my time on... never mind.

So yesterday I finally had the courage to text him about getting my key back, and surprisingly he replied so quickly, it was almost like the quickest text reply I've got from him ever since we had our "silent war". We exchanged some very brief texts about when and where to meet, and there I was, downstairs under his apartment waiting nervously, struggling to figure out what to say soon. Eventually he came downstairs, and for a sec I thought I was regretting of doing this, I walked over to him and finally had a better look of him. Yep he looked fine and happy. He lost weight. He was wearing a cap? That's a first... he said his hair was messy and hell yeah when he took his cap off, I noticed his hair was actually long and disgusting. He said he will shave the sides off....eh what? I think he is gonna go for a hardcore look...no comment. Besides talking about his hair, I briefly asked him about his Australian PR application like I really cared about if he got it or not, however I expected him to at least ask about how I was doing lately, you know maybe ask about my life too? No he didnt seem to bother asking about me, he didn't seem to give a fk.

Short 5 minutes and I came to realize how numb my heart has become. When I looked at him, I didn't see the person that I used to poured my heart to. He used to shine so bright but now it all faded away. He is a scar in my memories, a history in my diary, a past tense in my blog entries. The charm, the smiles, the voice and the touches that got me lost in the sea full of dreams and hopes no longer have the effects on me.

Goodbye R. I got my house key back, oh and also the key to my heart.

Carry on

2012-01-19T04:03:00.003+11:00

Sorry if i complain a lot, its just that I've been really tired, every week I face hours and hours of pure physical labour, unlike my awesome friend who got an awesome office job, I guess he is facing more of a mental 'labour' haha. My summer holiday somehow became a working marathon, how exciting!

Lately things have been quite different,(apart from my new working hours) as in my social life and my own well being. I did a brief budget for this year and it's my first one ever, worked out all these income and expenses, and of course my desired level of savings. My goal isn't very far-fetch after all. So it's all good that I'm cooking again and I'm cleaning again... soon enough I will also get a 20 visit swimming pass and I will start to get fit!

Since I only have 2 days off in a week, I could imagine that my social life would be pretty plain and dead. Amazingly it's quite the opposite. I don't know why but I started talking to a lot of people that I once neglected, like I mean people that I wouldn't be bothered trying to get to know them. I'm just so happy that I have spent time with them and it made me realize that others are too walking the tough road of recovery- just like me. I feel less alone and more motivated. Yes, the foolish pain is undeniably still existing but I know it is going to be temporary and I know I can do much much better than the me in 2011.

Now that I sound all pumped, I hope in the next post,I will blog about something happy.

The last hours of 2011

2011-12-31T01:17:00.008+11:00

Another NYE coming up! I can still recall the last 2 NYE, those 2 stay fresh in my memory.

2009 NYE, it was horrible to the point that I can remember every little detail of it. Yep it's true that I got to spend it with someone that used to be special, I can't exactly say he ruined it...first of all, rain was pouring so bad, we were resort to staying in hungry jacks, I also had a bad stomach ache during the whole time. So basically we wished each other happy new year in chinatown hungry jacks on a rainy night while I was in total pain. Nevermind. I don't give a crap about it no more.

2010 NYE was a slightly better one. Before actually going out for the count down, my friend's family invited me to have dinner with them, they were so friendly, I really felt like home when I was with them, maybe it's because they are also from Hong Kong, every matter they talked about I understood and gave me great sense of belonging. After the dinner, again, I got to spend the count down with someone that also used to be special, along with a few more people. What should I say? I wasn't a horrible night like the previous year, although I told no one, honestly I think it was an awkward night where I couldn't be myself. I used to imagine that NYE would be magical if I could spend it with this special someone but in the end reality is often far from what we fathom.

This year, 2011 NYE, if I'm not mistaken, it's going to be my first time to spend it with a friend- pure friend. I'm quite curious how this night will turn out, is it gonna be fun?awkward?unforgettable?disastrous? The interesting thing is that I didn't expect him to not have any plans when I asked him about it. And I thought I was the only one who was still indecisive about where to go and what to do. I was THAT close to just stay home by myself and have a peaceful NYE for a change, but guess not... I have good company now!

Anyway this last entry of 2011 won't have a recap of this year like the previous end of year entries. I don't have the mood to re-evaluate the messy yet indelible events. The less shallow my entries are, the more chance I'll have a good night sleep. Please no more 'emotions floods' before I sleep. People say a new year will bring new hopes and new opportunities. However the hurt will carry on despite the joy of the arrival of 2012. There, I have just created myself a mini emotions flood. Screw it.

Oh, to keep myself motivated, I have just came up with a few new year's resolutions:

get a HD in one of my subjects in each semester. It will be my first!!!
save up 3k just for my Korea holiday the end of next year.
make the Korea trip actually happen! Hopefully if things stays unchanged, it will happen!
make an actual progress in Korean the language! Stop slacking and start diving in the learning materials I bought!
forget about boys!

Yeah so they are the ones I can come up with right now, I had a couple more but they aren't realistic enough to take note of. But yes, more will come along the year. Alright, this entry is getting long, I should come to a conclusion now, maybe a grand exit statement??

'Strength does not come from physical capicity. It comes from an indomitable will.'- Mahatma Gandhi

Umm...welcome 2012, year of willpower? :-)

24th

2011-12-24T18:22:00.000+11:00

Christmas is tomorrow. What am I doing in Hong Kong still? I was meant to be in melbourne by now. People say the bright side is that I can at least spend the upcoming special day with parents, at least I don't have to be alone, literally alone in my apartment waiting for my Christmas wish to come true.

However, Christmas was never an important day in my year. It's just another holiday, another opportunity of getting paid double. So I shouldn't be bothered by how I spend this day, since it means really nothing to me.

Strangely enough, this year I feel quite different about Christmas. My dear friend was complaining how he doesn't have friends in the new city he recently moved to, telling me how lonely and sad he feels and how he just wanna sleep through Christmas. He told me that in his country, couples go out on Christmas, so it's a romantic day. I felt quite sorry for him and at the same I felt sorry for myself as well!!! Although we both will have parents around but it ain't the same... it's not about feeling lonely family wise, it's about wanting to spend the time with someone you want to be with!

Pick it up

2011-12-12T20:46:00.003+11:00

Randomly browsing through facebook, feeling a bit nosy as usual, I found so many news feeds that caught my attention. As facebook works really hard to keep me updated about what everyone is doing with their lives, I should also work really hard to observe the changes my "friends" are going through.
These are what I see...

So she got in another relationship after ending a brief one just recently. How did she do it so effortlessly?
And so this couple got back together a year after their break up... true love always go back together?
Then this girl is "dating" someone she hasn't even met in person yet...what?

Well well...seems like people have really worked things out. Should I be jealous?

"I guess it's over indefinitely
But you and I know it's not that easy
To let go of everything that we planned
And start all over again, hey

Just blame yourself cause you blew it

I won't forget how you do it, my sweet baby,

This is where the game ends now

But somehow wanna believe you and me

We can figure it out."

-We Ride by Rihanna

One positive thing to note, I must thank my 2 korean friends' help of helping me to once again pick up my long lost self-learn Korean. I can't remember the last time I touched that korean vocab/phrase book I made myself, but I do remember the hobby started in year 10, I made very slow progress in these 3 or 4 years...mostly because I became too lazy and too busy for it and the fact that I hardly got any chance to talk to real Koreans... Frankly learning a new language kinda gave me some excitment and the sense of achievement. I think that will be something I can do after I get back to melbourne..keeps me occupied and makes me happy. 행복해

ouch

2011-12-05T03:06:00.000+11:00

I kinda left my blog alone for a whole month, mostly because there really isn't any great things to talk about, besides some shameful, embarrassing and crazy things I did during the last week I spent in melbourne before flying to Hong Kong.
I couldn't really enjoy my time much for the first week or two,most of the time I was worrying about my uni result, I was pissing my pants thinking I might have failed marketing. In the end, to my greatest surprise, I didn't fail it!!!! Great burden off my shoulders...well kinda. After I was done worrying about results, it meant my mind would have more space to be preoccupied by other crap. People say going overseas can help heal the pain, how come it's still not working yet? In this unfamiliar yet familiar city, it gave even more time for me to reminisce upon the bittersweet past...thinking in circles, endless contradicting thoughts conflicting each other. I still haven't quite figure out the way to move on. How can I make it back to Melbourne, to RMIT fully recovered? That is the place where it happened, the place that made my life so beautiful- a perfect beginning, yet so ugly with a dark miserable "game-over".

Today was a wonderful day, I bought my favorite things...money was well spent. Who would have known such great day was gonna end with a shit night. Never mind, my heart hurts now...all that attempts of patching up the wounds go to drains. Never mind, I need to at least look happy and fine anyway...

stay fronting.....

take care..

2011-11-05T00:22:00.000+11:00

Urgh I feel so complicated...my workmate M is going through a tough time. He said he needed to talk. I rushed to his aid. He sat next to me, had his hands holding his forehead...First time I've had a grown man speaking his heart out to me, releasing his anger and anguish. Although I understood his pain, but I couldn't do anything at all to help him out, so there I was, sitting there watching him struggle with his life. It didn't feel good for me either, I could feel pinches of bitterness. I guess it was hurting me as well to see the person that once made effort to cheer me up had fallen into his own crisis, but this time around, I was unable to make him feel realistically better.

To be honest, I had a crap day already but in that short half an hour, I put my own issues aside, nothing and no one else was more important, and solely started worrying about him and his upcoming days. Why...why is that when this kind hearted person most needed someone, he had no one to turn to?? Why is it that no one else gives a crap about how he feels?? ...this huge wave of emoticons flooded my long aching heart.

Going home with a mix of negative feelings... today I went through an emotion roller-coaster...I swear I'm slowing going nuts....Anyways, take care M.

Simple

2011-10-25T01:34:00.000+11:00

I think I'm starting to like this gloomy weather!

Past few days were all about work then rushing off to rmit library afterwards to use their textbooks on the reserved selve. It's quite tiring and repetitive but at least I could use it to shut out some other things bothering my mind. Lately, I finally got back that old "miss independent" feeling, I'm too fly to be depressed?

It felt pretty great to walk out of the library knowing I've spent my time productively then seeing the rain, the refreshing coolness put away the stress. Strolling alone, bought takeaway alone, walked home alone, looked up to the grey sky alone, strangely the soft rain gave me smiles under my umbrella. For once in a long time, life didn't get any more simple than this.

:)

It matters

2011-10-18T03:41:00.002+11:00

"Honestly, what will become of me?
I don't like reality,
It's way too clear to me."

- All good things come to an end-Nelly Furtado

I'm so done hearing people say "the cover of the book isn't important". Who would actually bother picking up that book that has a boring cover along with a boring title? Alright, even if they do, don't they always at least read the snippet at the back cover to make their selection? Undeniably, that front and back covers determine the fate of the contents being read or not.

If I didn't spend that extra 15-30 mins to hide the blemishes, extend those eyelashes, line my eyes...was he gonna break the ice, was he gonna compliment me, was he gonna ask for a late night coffee, was he gonna ask for my number?? Today I rocked up to work looking quite different, a workmate that I have never talked to or even remembered seeing him suddenly became unusually interested in knowing me more. I think he liked my book cover?
People say makeup makes a woman more confident. How come for me it feels totally the other way around? It's making me more insecure than ever. I feel uneasy...as it constantly shows me the reality of how the world will always behave. Knowing the sudden attention people give is merely superficial, nothing feels genuine anymore. I'm not specifically criticizing my workmate for being shallow, he's really really nice, but it just reminds me of the cruel reality. It's not something I can call negative, but rather cynical. There is a need to acknowledge its existence though.

During work, some of us were discussing about career. Accounting comes into the topic, my manager then said "Too many people studying accounting, too many people looking for accounting jobs, too many people pursuing an accounting career are jobless, unless you're pretty. It's true." I swear, this is the 2nd time from a different person I've heard this about careers, luck will come to you if you're pretty. Pretty people do get the icing of the cake.

What a discouraging day. Looks matter and book covers matter. How can I not have insecurities?

winding up

2011-10-04T02:42:00.003+11:00

Maybe I subconsciously expected this .. problem was never solved, how stupid was I to think what I gave was enough to get things settled, instead this time, I allowed it to continue sprinkling salt and lemon juice on my fresh wounds. My stubbornness had served me "right", who am I to blame this time? I was offered to quit, however, I had never considered that as my one of my options, I know whatever I decide on, it won't make me any happier, so I might as well stand by my initial choice persistently, putting my all on the line for an outcome that is still a mystery. I'm kinda unsure about what I'm fighting for.
Haha I remember it wasn't long ago I was being pathetic for accepting something that I shouldn't, and now history seems to repeat itself in a slightly different way testing my mental strength. Running around in circles, I never changed, never improved, I'm still being pathetic, I just never learn, do I?

I gave my word, therefore I will follow it. I'm not like some people, who always like to promise something they aren't gonna do. To me, this is more than just feelings, it has become a promise that I have to keep. Although it is quite obvious that the more I try, the less is working; the tighter I hold, the more it's slipping through my hands. It feels like I'm on a treadmill, running the endless miles without reaching anywhere, ending up in the same old spot every single time. Despite those dreadful facts, I'm not calling it quits. I might have over-estimated my tolerance. The only thing that's keeping me sane is my 2 jobs and the wages, it is the only thing that seems tangible and real, what I put in is what I get back.

Time to wind up in bed... Tomorrow I will rock up looking marvelous, smiling like everything is fine, i will not give away one tiny bit of my frustration. This time I will truly pretend I'm tough. Tons of make up will do the job right?

It ain't free

2011-09-23T01:33:00.000+10:00

Ahhhh management accounting's assignment is driving me nuts...my partner and I are very clueless and it's due in a week, seriously so stressed about it. So to compensate the "stress", I went on a slight shopping spree at priceline today, of course stocking up my favourite bathroom collection, everyone says I use crap loads of bathroom stuff...and I admit I do!

Later at night, was talking to a friend about the big effort he spends on his relationship but not getting back what he expects. That kinda reminded me of a photo of my calendar page I took few months back:


"Pure Love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return"

Strong statement, people would probably be influenced into believing it is exactly the way it's meant to be. Second thought...
A lot of the times we are disappointed because he/she is not doing enough to make us happy the way we racked our brains to make them happy. Do we end up blaming our other half for being insensitive just because we poured in all our emotions and feelings? Don't we just wish our effort would somehow paid off, get acknowledged and be treasured, and finally hoping the favour will soon be returned with appreciation? In a legal perspective, every contract has a "consideration", so should I conclude that in the love perspective, "consideration" is also imperative in relationships.
No free lunch in the world, so is love.

Have they done their part to earn it?

An emotion upheaval

2011-09-15T03:27:00.001+10:00

I think it was a month or two when I mentioned about being excited to have a fresh start and how happy I was...So, I figure it's worth to type it down about last week I felt like I was being thrown back to those horrible times. I kept questioning- what's the point of saving me out of misery when you are just gonna throw me back in again?

At start I knew it was too good to be true, I knew there must be a catch. Then somewhere along the way it finally got me convinced that maybe it's gonna work out this time. I don't remember exactly when it started to change...the blow hit me so suddenly, so hard, so unexpectedly, I was so lost about what page I should be on. I didn't know how to react to it. Slowly I saw that I was losing it. Although it shouldn't be a big deal if I didn't initially pour my heart out, I still got trapped because this one really truly caught me off guard...

A few dreadful days later, I once again found myself that close into walking away from all of it- like a boss. Wasn't quite sure if I really could but I did make up my mind. I would not let my sincere effort and affection to be left unappreciated and overlooked. And of course in times like this, strange incidents would always happen- just like the movies. I encountered his 180-degree change of thoughts...it almost felt like a miracle...maybe a little less divine than a miracle.

The apology. But for what reasons exactly? I just hope it wasn't because of something I fear to hear.

Apology accepted. The somewhat sincere reassurances were given over and over.Things are now settled, but the actual problem itself might just be still unresolved. There's no guarantee that it won't occur again in the near future.

It felt like a game where there are ups and downs in such a short period of time. However, my guard is up again. I'm back to my protective mode.

1st shift

2011-08-31T16:01:00.001+10:00

Wow what a depressing weather... the sky is just grey, the sun is hidden somewhere behind the dense clouds...The view from the balcony makes the city seem so lifeless...so soundless. Geez...it's making me depressed too...

I had my 1st shift at gloria jeans yesterday, and it was also their 1st day opening. When I arrived at 9:30am, everything was unprepared, it looked like there was no way that they could open. My other workmates came and thank god they had worked in GJ before, because as a new employee I was so clueless about how to set up the shop...So we started off washing all the equipments.
GJ headquarters people came in to help prepare and run the store, and one of them were so stressed out about how disorganized we were, he was yelling to our franchisee boss saying we had to make an opening at 12:30pm no matter what. And of course things never went the way he wanted, the construction people started drilling holes through the counter tables and made a major mess, so the whole front counter was dusty,covered with wood crumbs...and yep guess who cleaned up part of the mess? Me and my workmates. Lucky there was another cleaner to help out who ended up cleaning most of the wood crumbs off the floor.

I think we finally opened at around 1 or 1:30pm. As expected, it wasn't busy at all, since nobody knew we were opened. The first group of customers got free bread slices and coffee though, how lucky! The boss started telling us to prepare drinks and cake slices samples for people walking by, so for about an hour or so, I felt like a promotion girl, standing around the escalators and food court, approaching strangers to offer a sample of Iced chocolate/cookies n cream chiller or lemon/vanilla slice while telling them about our new opening. That was quite an easy job though...talking to strangers is like what I do every time I work in maccas anyway.

Oh, yeah, talking about maccas, my maccas store manager finally found out that I started working for GJ. He was quite shocked but later on he approached me to advice me about my work rights, reminding me not to get ripped off by GJ employers...That was really nice of him and for the 1st time in my 2 years of knowing him, I felt like he gave a shit about my life and for the 1st time, I really truly appreciated him. *goosebumps*
But yeah I mean it!

Back to square one

2011-08-26T01:53:00.000+10:00

Today was quite an exhausting and hectic day. 7am start wasn't so bad after sleeping earlier than usual nights. Went to work and was surprised how little customers there were however when it hit lunch time I realized how wrong I was...and we were short on front counter crew...amazing how we made it through lunch without any major issues.

So that was my 7 hours gone, rushed out of the store, knowing that I had more to do later on....study for marketing test! Since I'm so cheap that I don't own a textbook, RMIT business library was the perfect place for me to go borrow. I got there at 4pm after eating some hardcore Indian rice/chicken/curry/veggie. Man... What a battle against my sleepy eyes! I was just so exhausted but I tried really really hard to concentrate, and I gotta be proud to say my backup energy won the battle. I managed to focus and plainly studied for 4 hours straight. Honestly I couldn't recall the last time I was trying so hard academically.

Sitting at those "detention desks" lookalike in the business library working hard brought back heaps of memories of the after school life of year 12. The times when I persistently came to RMIT library after school to study with B til late where there were only us left in our area...when I watched B played l4d2 and minecraft during our occasional breaks...when we discussed about accounting...It was those times, things were not so shitty. It was fun, it was encouraging, it was to me, very motivating. Oh.... right, that was merely a year ago. Is it wrong to say that B is somewhere at the back of my mind? I had a playback on my answering machine, I realized how many of B's meaningless yet funny messages were stored in it. How come they are still there? What about that folder on my itouch? Why is it pestering me?

"Gotta take it back to the days before we met, and live our lives as strangers again." -All or nothing

Yep, back to square one. No regrets.

glimpses

2011-08-17T22:21:00.000+10:00

In building 14.

What a peaceful and calm environment for uni work. Free from the noises, free from the distractions. However I'm getting a bit frustrated at my slow progress on this apparently easy assignment. Oh What the hell, take a break and blog.

I swear I have almost put my full concentration on it. It was that moment when my itunes started playing "Way back into love"- a song that means so much to me. My heartbeat started racing. I couldn't help but turned my head to the left, set my eyes on R, who was sitting quite a distance away focusing on his work. Subtle observant. He was too busy to notice. The song went on for about 4 minutes, so 4 minutes of glimpses back and forth, it felt fulfilling. I was....starstruck? haha

I really crave my semester break, one week of nothing should be great! Oh yeah, Gloria Jeans in MC will have its grand opening this coming Sunday. It's going to be an awesome store, from what the boss described to us, the interior will look superb with an uptown view of La Trobe and Swanston street intersection. I'm quite excited to start my 1st shift!!

Now he knows

2011-08-11T02:40:00.001+10:00

She was happily in his arms.
Then he mumbled in her ears.
She couldn't help but started tearing silently. 3rd time.
He felt it on his neck.
"why?" he asked as he wiped them away.
She wouldn't tell. And she couldn't stop the streams.

I know why. She saw all her dreams come true in him. She waited for so long. Now she has it, but she didn't know what she did to deserve it. She didn't know it was possible. Although she doubted it, although she was afraid of her fragile heart, she had already given in to him. She felt weak and dependent.

She told me she stays up late, because the reality now seems to be better than her dreams.

Now he knows it was tears of appreciation, yet to her, it was also the tears of weakness. She's just so weak.

Reckless

2011-08-03T02:09:00.000+10:00

For some reason I think my personality changed a bit lately. I noticed I've been less stubborn about things that I usually would take great notice. Is it because I don't care no more or is it because I simply want to avoid facing potentially disappointing truths. Maybe I learned to back off, or learned to respect more.

My logic speaks out....
The other side of me is still somewhat insecure. I don't believe in fairy tales, let alone believing that they will actually happen. From my bitter experiences, I discovered that things are always more than meets the eye. I'm not willing to open myself wide open only to be put down again. I have no faith. I'm scared. I want to protect myself. I see them, I'm living with the side effects.

Then my reckless emotions rushed in.....

Fresh Start

2011-07-31T02:30:00.001+10:00

New Semester, new subjects, new books, new teachers... new life?
I feel happy.

So I really do need a fresh start suggested by a friend. The anguish I was holding on to needed to get lost.
The past 2 weeks were nothing but chaotic. I have finally done something for myself, and things seem to be going my way. All of a sudden, the past doesn't bother me no more, the girl that everybody used to know didn't change, I am my awesome self again. I gained a lot of understanding from people about the choices I made, people like friends and even my own parents, of course R as well. I'm so thankful I was never left alone in this entire process, start til end and beyond. I prayed to God...and I really believed He had shown and led me to a new brighter path.

"I need an inspiration, not just another negotiation" -Way back into love

7th year

2011-06-30T20:08:00.003+10:00

30th June is a special day. I have spent exactly 7 years in Melbourne.

Is 7 years a long time? These 7 years evolved around my high school, because obviously I spent nearly my everyday in it. It is a place that made me "me". I wrote in my school year book "Prospice" saying I can't imagine myself being in another school...I would definitely become someone else different, better or worse--I don't know. To truly experience being in Australia or Melbourne...I would say going through high school years is a must. Dreadful in a way but valuable.

7 years ago, life was simple. 7 years later, life is complicated. 7 years ago, I was a child. 7 years later, I'm an adult. It wasn't until recently, I finally got the feeling that the public sees me as an adult, they looked at me seriously, acted seriously and talked seriously, therefore I feel obligated to respond like an adult. How strange this feeling is! The adult-like feeling I longed for since little, now it's suddenly happening, however, it's really nothing so special or superior.

I was meant to type a long post to mark this day but I got distracted by hk drama so until next time.

What a surprise!!!

2011-06-14T03:09:00.000+10:00

Two nights ago, I talked to Crystal on msn. She asked if I would be working the next day because she left David my birthday present before she left for Malaysia and she wanted him to pass it on to me. I was already surprised thinking "wow she planned this for so long!" So I thanked her and she quickly went off after telling me David will come drop it off the next day.

So yesterday afternoon David eventually gave me a call at around 5:30pm telling me to come downstairs to get my present. I went down, didn't see anyone outside through the glass door so I pushed it open, expecting a little search for the apparently "lost" David. The moment I turned my head to the left, I spotted a familiar face. It wasn't David. Guess who. IT'S CRYSTAL!!! I've never ever ever been so surprised with seeing someone unexpectedly. I literally screamed "OH MY GOD" and threw myself to her. I seriously couldn't believe she and David would make that effort to allied to surprise me like that!! I was over the moon! She is so good at surprising me on my birthday every year! It was great to see her again in Melbourne...I really thought she ain't coming back....I really thought I've lost a best friend, again.
We had a short chat about how much we missed each other and she had to go to church with her mum. Of course I thanked her for the lovely lovely present ^.^

Thank you Crystal!!! Because of you, I finally made a post that doesn't sound depressing!

Overnight make up??

2011-05-27T17:57:00.002+10:00

A few weeks ago, I was reading an interview of Make Up King - Terry Barber, a famous professional hollywood stars make up artist, there is one Q&A that gave me a big LOL or WTF.

chok face

Q: Do you think you should sleep in makeup?
A: Girls I know do it. I worked with Pamela Anderson for a few years and I can tell you she never takes her eyeliner off – she likes the left over look. There’s a culture to it – I’m not saying its right but its probably not great for your skin but its make up. There are girls who start their mascara on Monday and finish it on Saturday, without ever taking it off.

"she likes the left over look"

Man I gotta say eyeliner "left over look" is not very attractive I'm sorry. After 8 hours max I can assure you any eyeliner will start smudging around your eyes, looking like either a goth or you have massive eye bags. Let alone sleeping with it overnight, by morning, you'd probably find smudges on your face or your pillow...? seriously..?

"I’m not saying its right but its probably not great for your skin but its make up."

What the hell is he on about? What does he mean by it's probably not good for your skin but it's make up???? Leaving make up on overnight is definitely not good for your skin, the skin absorbs the chemicals and they dry up your skin, and also leaving little lumps all over your face. And his reason is because it's make up.

"There are girls who start their mascara on Monday and finish it on Saturday, without ever taking it off."

Is that even possible? Does that mean they don't ever wash their face for a week? Doesn't water get in their eyes when they wash their hair? Or they just simply don't shower/wash hair...? A while ago I saw on the news saying a Chinese girl who left her fakelashes on continuously for 2-3 months, then her eyes started to get irritated, she went to the doctor and guess what, the doctor found cockroaches eggs stuck in her layers of fakelashes. That is just way too creepy. Leaving mascara unwashed...even with your real lashes isn't really a wise thing to do after all.

"There’s a culture to it"

Well, that's just a bullshit culture.

bits of everything

2011-05-11T14:19:00.000+10:00

Can't believe I'm typing up another post in less than 24 hours. I've just came back from macroenconomics lecture which bored the heck out of me...during those time wasting 2 hours I had flashbacks of high school times, I remembered the joyful accounting classes with Mr Bennett being hilarious, we only had around 15 people in the class, half of the amount classes were meant to have. It made it so discouraging when I looked around my lecture theater,there were hundreds of unfamiliar faces, once again I felt more alone than ever before...I am still struggling to adapt. "The fittest survive." Obviously I'm still not the fittest. (physically either..=.=")

B said he is depressed about his studies. He asks me to help. I don't know how to and I'm not capable. I don't think I'm in a condition to cater anything, because I can hardly cope with life in general myself. I want to challenge someone to point out something, anything, that seems to be optimistic at this point of my life. Yeah, I'm not being thankful for what I might already have.

Today is Jamieson's birthday...I thought I should mention it since in lecture I sent him a text saying happy birthday and I miss him. He's most likely not one of my closest, bestest friend, I don't share my secrets with him, I don't hang out much with him and of course because of my high school departure, I barely even talk to him anymore. However, strangely, I tend to miss him a lot from time to time. I don't remember how I started talking to him, but I do remember it was in year 11, his home group was next to mine and somehow we started talking to each other...the first impression he gave me was that he's different from those "standard" aussie guys (sorry about stereotyping) and that is probably the main reason why we got along really well. After his sudden absence from school, I came to realize that he's actually a really strong person, strong mental strength, well at least he never showed his weak side to me or maybe the others, although at times I doubt his emotions... was he really happy when he smiled?
He was my year 12 formal partner, that made him extra special to me...hahaha...well I kinda stole him from some other girl so I could go with him..hahaha I did feel bad. It was almost a year ago...he was outside my apartment building, dressed in a black suit, waiting to escort me to the formal venue. (by tram LOL) It was a simple act yet memorable and new to me.
I really hope I'll be making my greatest effort to stay in touch with him, to continue to be his good friend and I also want him to know that he is always welcome to confide in me about whatever bothering him. I probably can't help, but I can listen.

At lab

2011-05-10T20:54:00.001+10:00

I'm currently at the RMIT 24 hour student computer lab and I intend to stay til late. It wasn't a few days ago I realized I should start doing my 2nd business computing assignment which is due in 2 weeks time. I've been turning my face away from work for a long time, I don't know what I have actually got done during the mid-semester break, probably none....yep none.
So tonight I want to stay outside of home a.k.a place of temptations, and start doing the pre-work for my assignment. The reason why I say pre-work is that there are some particular exercises I need to do before I'm capable of starting my assignment. Those pre-work was meant to be done during lab prac classes and obviously I didn't bother so now I have to rush them. The 1st assignment was on Excel and I got pretty stuck with some techniques and this time it is on Microsoft Access, I have never used it before so GG.

Haven't put a post up lately, despite so many things I had in mind to blog about...I just never had to courage to type them down. Now I have forgotten 80% of them, I don't know what to talk about in relation to my personal life.

One thing worth to mention is that I've had another sweet dream...it's similar to the one I mentioned in one of my recent posts. Even though I know it is wrong to even have this thought of liking this dream but I couldn't help but wish that I could be stuck in that dream. To me, it's a way to escape conflicts that bother me in most nights.
I sometimes thought about how I have deliberately ruined someone, and the torment I brought to this other person that truly treasured me. I can't say I'm wholeheartedly sorry for what I've done though, thus it is also the part that scares me. Karma does exist though, I've always believed it. The torment I got back from an important person had pretty much made up for my bad deeds.So the sweet dreams kinda soothed me from all these, although knowing it is wrong.

I should go now...

I'm a brat

2011-04-13T00:57:00.000+10:00

The past weeks or so have been the same old grumpy days I've always had. Last week I had the worst Wednesday ever...

It's ridiculous how things can get this bad, like I never expected I would do so badly in university. I have certain expectation of myself for all my life, even though I don't always perform the way I hoped, I have never went past my borderline. Even though when people ask about how I went in some studies or tests, I always lightly laughed off my poor performance like it was nothing...deep down I knew I really did care about how badly I did. I heard the sirens, reminding me that I was once again losing my track.
I'm not sure what exactly is my real motivation...I feel like I just want to pass time aimlessly. Then other unfinished matters came into my mind for example the CV that I told myself to write a million times, the HK internship that I wished to get in, that balcony I was supposed to clean a month ago, that laundry I left a week ago, the macroeconomics lectures I needed to catch up with, a discouraging new job hunting......Too too many things.

What am I doing?

I'm so afraid I can't pick myself up again. I'm so afraid I will continue to be like a puddle of mud-messy and useless.

If I read back to my old entries in this blog, I would realize this problem isn't new...my life has been circling around this "motivation" issue. I listened to a lot of people encouraging me, trying to pull me back up with countless soothing words, but sorry they are just not working. I hate seeing myself like this. Although I have matured in many ways, a big part of me is still a lousy little brat who never considers to take real actions to become a better person rather than only sitting here, complaining all day long.

Mid semester break is coming next week. I hope I can develop an alter ego to help myself out during this break.

Bored

2011-03-28T14:23:00.002+11:00

Can't believe I'm updating my blog in uni...maybe I'm just bored to the extreme. I'm sitting with some people at the moment, they are talking about their test material for their subject, and since I don't do the subject, I'm resort to playing with the iPod touch... Urgh so boring. I did bring some assignment to do but after I read it, i knew it's impossible to do it without having a text book which I didn't bring. Well I should go now to an assignment help session, I just felt like typing on my blog to complain. I have a dead brain...feel like crying. Bye...

sweet dreams

2011-03-20T01:43:00.005+11:00

Last night I had the best dream ever....well let's just say it's been a long time since I've had a good dream. So this dream was so sweet, it was hard for me to let go and when I woke up by accident in the morning, I tried to quickly force myself to sleep in hope of getting back to my dream. I think I did end up going back to it!!!!

Although it was a sweet dream, I know it's never meant to happen in reality so I woke up with disappointments...great way to start a day... so now I might as well mention work today. The moment I stepped in, I saw that workaholic maniac and I knew it was going to be a tough shift. So 5 mins into my shift, everything was going horrible just like I predicted, I was screaming in my head, begging that the workaholic maniac would disappear as soon as possible and that was also the moment my one and only hope walked in---My super cool manager! I could not thank him enough for making my work less annoying!

We're cool.

2011-03-16T01:11:00.006+11:00

Isn't it strange? Talking to this estranged person who you once disliked and then realized they are actually not as bad as you remembered. The re-union gave me a chance to change my view to this person. Perhaps they have grown up, matured or changed. Although I tried to avoid, I observed when they lightly apologized for the past, for being naive, impatient, childish....In my mind I was thinking maybe I should apologize too...but I didn't, when it comes to mistakes in the past, I'm often speechless on the lips, but my heart, on the other hand, fills with unspeakable thoughts and regrets.
Thanks anyway...for being honest all the way. At least I was never left guessing.

A song to note-

"Cool"- Gwen Stefani

It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life...
Passes things get more comfortable
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool

Cold eyes, reluctant smiles, emotionless faces

2011-03-07T19:58:00.004+11:00

I can't believe how empty I'm feeling nowadays...
I feel like my social life is falling apart...
I'm desperate to feel a sense of belonging...
Am I invisible or am I lost in the crowd?
I feel pinches of bitterness and sourness lingering somewhere in my system...
I can't even cry, it is that deep...
I need to be emancipated...

On my way home this evening, I stepped in the quiet Gloria Jeans near my home. I found brief solace in the simplest interaction with the coffee person. He looked me in the eyes and greeted me with a smile, as I ordered my coffee, I saw he recognized me as his regular customer and offered me a loyalty card. It gave me a little warmth knowing that he remembered me and acknowledged my presence. I realized it is this small feeling I'm seeking everyday...but yet I never found it.
Thank you Gloria Jeans Elizabeth Street for the temporary comfort you brought me. I learnt to enjoy myself while drinking coffee, listening to music and reading a textbook. Oh, and the free wi fi was great! =)

1st day

2011-02-28T18:33:00.003+11:00

As all of my friends know, today is a big day. Leaving high school behind and continue on with another path, tertiary study- university.

I had a 10:30am start today with a two hour lecture and a 1 hour tutorial right after it. Those 3 hours, I must say was the most boring 3 hours I've had since the end of year 12. I didn't get a chance to utter a word...my mouth was shut for the whole duration of lecture and class.

I came to my 10:30am Intro Accounting lecture a few minutes late and as soon as I stepped in this huge lecture theater, I was in awe seeing the seats were almost all full! So I had sit at the near end in a row with this Chinese girl whose iphone wouldn't stop vibrating and this dude who ended up leaving half way of the lecture after playing 45 mins of iphone games. So yeah Intro Accounting was quite boring I agreed, mostly because I've learned those stuff in high school accounting and business management classes. The powerpoint the lecturer showed was just info and diagrams copied exactly from the book...so it was kinda no point taking any notes down.

I rushed to my tutorial class realizing only 1 student was in the room, and when we officially started, the class had 5 people...only. This is because the tutorial wasn't available for student to put in their timetable until a week ago and basically no one knew its existence. The lecturer mentioned it so I ended up moving my tutorial class to this new one.

So those 3 hours were a bummer until I attended my commercial law lecture. IT MADE MY DAY!! This law lecturer is a lawyer and he started off being strict about lateness and he stressed that he doesn't want anyone to walk in late, which his tune sounded a bit scary. But as the lecture progressed, he started sharing his stories or past experiences, he showed us some funny videos and images and used those to motivate us and keep us entertained and interested. He really reminded me of my amazing high school law teacher Mr T. He was just like him!! I was overjoyed and he really brightened up my day! And what's best was that I was 100% concentrated and didn't miss a word of his teaching! Way to go!

However, the reality of this subject Commercial Law is total hardship, the fail rate is 50%- 60%. And out of the 200-250 students in my lecture this year, half of them are repeating this course which means they all failed last year. I was so shocked finding out this fact, and it absolutely got me worried if I'll actually do well...or even pass. I'm not being humble here, but the failing rate is too huge to be ignored. I know why people failed easily though, the end of semester exam is 3 hours long, with 5 questions and it requires students to write 20-25+ pages. Not many people can handle that kind of intense writing in a limited time frame. On top of that, it is actually an open book exam, we are allowed to bring any unbounded/bounded resources in, which makes it more shocking to see people failing as they are not required to memorize one thick book. 10 hours of study per week for this 1 subject is needed to get a HD... Now when I think back to my VCE law exam, I totally screwed up my exam because I'm one of those people who can't handle intense writing with time limit. *crap my pants*

After law lecture, I had a quiet long walk home, alone. It felt good to be myself at that time, after a long day having hundreds of people around me, I love my private moments to think about things, reminiscing about my high school days, imagining my uni life in the future...It settled my emotions. Oh yeah.

it's nice to be back

2011-02-25T21:16:00.001+11:00

After I got back from Hong Kong, my week had been awful. Mostly because I was totally bombarded by university matters and my visa application.

I've just gone to my orientation and uni already sound pretty scary. Since I'm also working at McD, I really gotta organize my time well. Oh and books are soo expensive and they only last for a semester...what a waste of resources and money. So yeah, it's great to know I already dislike university before I even start it...I felt like I was running away from it. Aren't we all starting to miss VCE! However I do hope my pessimistic view will go away soon or later. And good luck to all those who just can't wait to start, seriously, those people probably have at least 20 contact hours per week with a science course,making me look like a wimp whinging with a mere 13 contact hours/week. urgh.
But I'm so done with my social life when it commences, I want to work hard. Yes... I want.

Alright. It's good to be back in Melbourne despite all the troubles. I will update again next monday, fresh start at uni. Should be interesting.

bon appetite

2011-01-30T23:33:00.004+11:00

How rude can people get? Do they know any table manners?

So I was in one of my favorite fast food restaurant called "Cafe de coral" in HK, it's not like mcdonalds or KFC junk food places, but we actually eat proper meals cooked from their kitchen, and I've always enjoyed their fast service, okay dining areas and reasonable food... but today I was so disturbed by this man sitting at the table opposite mine...and coincidentally my seat was facing him. While enjoying my dish, I noticed this man had just finished his food and started coughing..then I witnessed a disturbing scene where he spat out yellowy...white gooey shit on the plate..... omg.. I can't believe he just did that in a place where people EAT... I almost choked on my chicken seriously!

So a few minutes later, he decided to close his eyes and picked his nose with his pinky...for like effing 15 mins non-stop, also checking out the snot on his pinky every 30 seconds, admiring it... The unbearable thing was that with his eyes shut,he looked like he was enjoying his public nose picking moment. WTF....EXCUSE ME...I'M EATING. By this time I was already very gross out and my food has become tasteless...thanks to this outrageous selfish bastard.

After having his pinky shoved up his nose, he decided to take a nap...in a freaking dining room. I was totally speechless...like what the hell is wrong with him? He sure fell asleep quickly sitting up with his mouth opened, most likely snoring too...So I took this opportunity to give him a little sweet surprise, quickly took my phone out pretending to take a picture of my mum and made him our star for today. And don't tell me how it is wrong to take a photo of someone without their permission, I DoN't CaRe!! @#$%^&

Having a sweet dream, douchebag??

Bon Appetite everyone.

HK

2011-01-17T21:49:00.002+11:00

Well I'm here! In the most wonderful city Hong Kong.

I was actually gonna update before I leave for HK but didn't have enough time. So yeah, after the dreadful 9 hour flight(I had to take 3 travel sickness tablets), I arrived the airport at 10pm, looking like I haven't slept for a whole damn week...I swear, I would rather stay in Melb for my whole life than going on a plane....

There isn't much happening at the moment but I'm sure there will be a lot more coming. I really enjoy the food here, they are finally something different, and pretty sure I'll gain weight hehehe =D =D

And yeah I'll gather my mood for shopping, and slowly cross out my to-buy list. You know when I think about all these exciting stuff I can do in HK, having a horrible flight is worth it afterall! How contradictive!

The last bits of 2010

2010-12-29T12:52:00.002+11:00

The past week has been awesome! I really enjoyed it, whether it was staying home or going out, it was the first time in a long time that I felt like I wasn't all by myself.

And now it's time where we all conclude our year. I had a lot in my mind actually, many little things I saw or little things people talked about or even old songs that I listened to, they easily triggered huge waves of memories. But yet, sitting here at this very moment, I struggle to type them out. Honestly I really can't be bothered to do what I did some years ago where I listed out all the memorable events that happened throughout the year, especially at this stupid age things seemed to get a lot more complex and deep comparing to year 9 when I was 15. They mainly evolved around simple events like hanging out with friends in/outside school, it's pretty hilarious reading through that post...lol and somehow embarrassing. It's also breath-taking to see how different I've become after just 3-4 years. I get amazed every time reading my old posts!

I have so many old scars waiting to be healed, and before that can happen, new cuts came in. And still too ashamed to tell anyone...It's easy to forgive, so hard to forget. I can't keep them out...Yeah, that's the best of 2010.

And Lachlan, I haven't forgotten you. Hope you've reached a better place, rest in peace....

Have an awesome new year everyone.

Now I know

2010-12-14T18:16:00.005+11:00

The great suspense is officially over.

Results were out yesterday and pretty much had determined what lies ahead of us in 2011. My dream...or my family's dream...ever since primary school has shattered. No, my result was not exactly a failure, just ain't enough to get what I wished for. However, I'm grateful that life isn't over yet, I believe there are many doors open when I get to the next level in life. This kinda motivated me a bit to work harder and improve myself in different ways. Anyway, I won't go on forever about this miserable topic for many of us. And I do congratulate some who did exceptionally well, I know they have put their studies first and pour their heart into it, also with their smart brains, they have well deserved this great reward. =)

Somehow I started talking about CHS with friend and suddenly it triggered this sense of attachment to my high school...It has only been a month or so and already I feel like I'm missing my teachers. I got flashbacks and remember the joyful times I spent during accounting, esl, legal class times...
And dunno why I'm getting a bit teary typing this up...
I also remember I was complaining how I hated school, wanted to get out of the hell hole asap. I remember Crystal told me not to skip classes, she said "After this year, you won't even get a chance to hate it! So treasure it!" "Yeah right!" that was all I replied her. I come to realize how silly of me to think like that during Year 12 and also feel ashamed to see how Crystal knew how to treasure the important moments in our life but I couldn't.
Geez...I really miss seeing my teachers...

butt pain

2010-12-11T18:06:00.005+11:00

After the weekly market shopping for fresh food on Saturdays, I decided to go to Melbourne Central to have a look around the shops. On my way there, I saw this newly opened Gloria Jeans!! YES! There's an even closer Gloria Jeans near my place now..hehehehe, have to go there soon!

So when I got to Melbourne Central, I actually wanted to just go to Priceline, but since I was there, I forced myself to go into some clothes shops...First one I visited was called "Cocolatte", not a big fan of it but I had a look anyway, didn't take long until I got out, next one is "Temp", probably one of my fav ones, but somehow, I couldn't get one piece out of the whole shop to try on. I was getting a little annoyed by the time I walked around twice...still no luck. Going through the racks, I saw women lining up waiting to pay, is it them who are just impulsive buyers or is it me lacking some fashion sense? Maybe I was more focused on my skinny wallet or my mind was preoccupied by the tragedy that will most likely take place on Monday...
I figured I should wait til my clothes shopping mood is up, then come back. Although it probably only happens twice a year. Now I'm starting to wonder where all my clothes come from in my wardrobe...ummm...mummy?

Since I knew I wasn't into clothes, I checked out shoes in "Written", yep, pretty looking heels. And that was all. "Cotton on" was even more boring.

Once again, it proves that clothes shopping is a pain in the butt.

However, I did end up spending... just not clothes hahaha

Pretty sure that will never happen to me...sigh
I suck at shopping. Unbelievable.

nervous

2010-12-10T00:11:00.003+11:00

The week hasn't been much fun, having a lot of "me-time", and it's getting tasteless. Although I still have a bunch of housework to do. I spent some time doing girl's stuff, that's the bit I'm proud of, at last, I don't feel like I'm wasting time doing manicure, pedicure, cucumber mask, body scrub etc...

3 more days until my results are out, and today I really started pissing my pants...the moment of my life, the purpose of why I'm here. This sounds like something huge, and it is!! I wonder how I will look like when I turn up to work at 11am that day... burning down the place? or jump around saying good morning to everyone? I'm really not sure how I will deal with the outcome emotionally, cause I haven't had this kind of important thing going on in my life for so long, I now find it hard to imagine what it feels like when it's revealed. Will I be resilient and get over it quickly or not? I hope. B will help me with that...!

That's all I really wanted to say, that I'm crapping my pants and they need to be cleaned up!!!!

composure

2010-12-02T01:34:00.004+11:00

Sitting alone by myself with music in my ears, especially during train rides, I always catch myself reminiscing about recent events. I've never had any unresolved matters in my life, I consider myself a peaceful one, keeping good relationships among acquaintances. Big feud or any kind of people conflict have never been around me for more than a week or two . I feel lucky that I'm out of the limelight. This also reminds me of a recent discovery, this girl I know from work, yes, she has a pretty face and innocent look, a likable person overall, but not long ago, I found out that behind her, she leads a scandalous life,strange enough, she enjoys it.

I really prefer not to have any complications. And that's why I'm puzzled by my own actions... I messed around, although with reasons, I knew I was bound to mess up. I think I saw it coming. Despite having all these emotions, there's one thing I don't feel anymore--guilt. At least I believe I have done the right thing in the end. Even though it did not end with serenity, leaving behind this "unresolved" feeling, I'm also glad in some way that I could get out of it...and also free the other parties. That was my other intention. Yes, it was a shame that I never took the chance to explain myself properly, to really open up and share my thoughts, but some things aren't meant to be shared, I will never allow my inmost thoughts to be encrypted by anyone, they are not opened for others to discuss or scrutinize. This is my way, can't do much about it.Besides, defending myself isn't a solution. If going ugly is the way, then I shouldn't say anything to influence a change.
After all, I think nobody will walk away from life without any blemishes in their hearts. So let this be my blemish that I will always remember and becomes occasion reminiscences.

Let me take a breath and regain my composure.

Lucky Star Jars

2010-11-24T18:21:00.016+11:00

As I mentioned before, the beginning of the holiday was quite full on. I'm almost up to the third week, and it's good to see things have finally settled and my life has once again returned to quietness.... until later.

Besides work, going out and groceries shopping, when I got a chance to be at home, I had to prepare gifts for my teachers. The gifts are hand made, and every little detail of them is done by my own hands. Was going around crazy trying to get all the materials!

I made Lucky Stars Jar!!

All the stars I made...think there should be close to 800 of them. Some of the stars inside are GLOW IN THE DARK!

organizing the stars into jars

Did all the decorating! Took so long!!

I have 2 cylinder jars and 3 fat curvy jars. The one I'm showing is the curvy jar. I added ribbon and butterfly stickers. I used 3D paint tubes to write "Thank You" on the glass surfaces...it's pretty cool, although I would prefer the colours to appear more boldly. They are more pastel like at the moment. Damn...should have got the glitter paint instead... I reckon the top bit where it covers the opening of the jars is a masterpiece! As you can see, I used red and purple cellophane strips and stuck them around the rims. I'm pretty surprised that it worked out pretty well and they look neat too!

This photo I wanted to show especially because you can see what the glow in the dark stars look like when I turn the lights off. My camera probably didn't capture a quality look but man... it's very beautiful.

I can't wait to give them to the teachers...every time when I think about how surprised and happy they will be when they see this, I can't help but smile while folding the stars with painful fingers. I think it's a great way to show appreciation, money can't buy my effort.

Thank you, Ms Stocker, Mr Bennett, Mr Timms, Ms Velos and Ms Mouraditis!

Found

2010-11-18T01:05:00.003+11:00

The past month or so, I must admit was chaotic and messy...physically, emotionally and of course academically. During that period of time, I've lost a few of my routines so it really messed up my basic everyday life. Now that exams are finished, I really have to start getting it into shape again.

A lot of my friends are leaving overseas, well its meant to be a sad thing but the positive side of it is I can finally have some time for myself...I just need a few days to stay home and solely focus on my own well-being. I think that is the most important thing to me at the moment, as I need to get back to the time when I was doing such a good job taking care of myself.

Yes, catching up with friends is also important...Yes, I've been doing that for the whole week, and consecutively going out all day til night is very draining. I always have to wind up in bed at late night, thinking where do I need to go tomorrow or the day after tomorrow... oh and will definitely be working heaps more than before. Umm yeah and it was nice meeting some new people today tho, there's this easy going Singaporean guy...very easy to make a conversation with him surprisingly, so that was pretty good.

I've just thought of a phrase to conclude my days...

Lost And Found

I just can't believe how well this phrase can actually describe what I went through. At one moment I felt like a loser, losing everything I used to have. However not long later, my prayer was answered, and I had regained what I had lost, only in a different but better form.

Trick or Treat?

2010-10-31T18:38:00.007+11:00

Dropping by to say Happy Halloween!!!

As some of my friends know, Halloween is my favorite occasion of the year. But sadly Australia doesn't really care about it much.It's pretty strange though, why do some of the shops bother selling Halloween costume and props? They are definitely going to be a deficit...with piles and piles of unsold Halloween items...what a waste of resources.

You know what's really tempting?I really feel like wearing my totally ancient witch costume and start going around trick or treating on my own level... I wonder what reactions people will have when they see me at the door acting all innocent, trying to steal some lollies off them. hehehehe

Can't believe Hong Kong actually celebrates Halloween...like HUGELY. I always had so much fun when I was still in HK! Going around friend's neighbourhood knocking doors, then heading back home with a huge bag of lollies... Going to Ocrean Park-those scary haunted houses especially made for October only...it was soooo awesome no joke!

So this is the last post of October...will post again in mid November
-until next time-

farewell? not yet...!!

2010-10-29T11:38:00.006+11:00

So the past week was all about farewells, goodbyes, and "so long never see again". We had our last official class last Tuesday and the idea of "last" didn't really hit me until late evening. So I was going crazy telling my friend "holy crap! no more high school classes!! No moreeee" and it went on and on...

Last Wednesday they had the tradition muck up day aka "celebration day". However I reckon it is a stupid idea and I had no funny costume to wear so I gave the all mighty once in a lifetime muck up opportunity a PASS. It was great lying in bed though, no thought of missing out.

Valedictory assembly on last Thursday was sooo boring... our year level was probably the least enthusiastic out of all the past year 12... when we were singing our song, we sounded dead, really dead. After a long rehearsal, Valedictory Evening...oh god, why do I bother talking about it, I could just sleep through it. I saw University High School got their graduation certificate, and they were wearing casual. What about us...Hmmm We got a graduation keyring which doesn't even have the year on it.
Sorry if I'm complaining too much... but this whole High School graduation and valedictory weren't as fun as I thought it would be. I remember when I was still a junior, I used to admire the year 12, having so much fun during the last week of their school...

Anyway, the highlight was probably what happened after valedictory evening... WOOOO... getting smasheddddd

Exams are still in progress, so I guess it isn't really farewell yet. GL for the exams people!!

The boring valedictory assembly...all year 12 on stage...Asian crew at back row ftw!!!!!

The week's fav lyrics...

"Oh I remember you driving to my house
In the middle of the night,
I'm the one who makes you laugh,
When you know you're about to cry,
I know your favourite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong,
I think I know its with me...

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
been here all along, so why can't you see..
you belong with me"

have you ever thought just maybe...you belong with me.

you belong with me-taylor swift

chocalator

2010-09-21T15:20:00.008+10:00

ahhhhh holiday, feels so great...finally can get rid of my early 7am alarm.

Slacked off for the first few days, as Mr T told us to take a break first and get back on track, that is pretty hard to do to be honest, my bum is totally stuck on the chair at dinner table, wanting to eat all the time! And my break all requires concentration like looking at the computer screen, or tv, they are all pretty damn draining. Anyway, so I did draw up a plan for these 2 weeks, the plan looks highly unrealistic due to the repetitive study sessions for different subjects every single day, however I know this lifestyle should be maintained as a year 12 student and most importantly during the LAST holiday before final exams.

I bought this really cool calculator, it looks like a chocolate block but the coolest thing is that it is windable. So the whole thing is made out of soft plastic except for the digit display screen bit. It's probably not a big deal cause I've seen keyboard like this but a calculator that looks like chocolate and its windable?? WOW~!@ i love itt!

can I eat it now? =P
Now I really look forward to doing accounting so I can use this yummy looking chocalator...good motivation!!!

uni app

2010-09-10T00:37:00.003+10:00

Just gonna quickly update.

This week was a blast...SAC everyday, study everyday. Another one tomorrow. I was trying to do uni application during my spares today but don't know why the page didn't load successfully when I tried to click on the application process for 10 times, it's probably because it was peak hour where everyone started going on doing their applications, or our school computers being naughty. So I ended up doing it just then and took me an hour to finish and pay. It was a big hassle to figure out what courses to put in, but wasn't very hard to fill in 12 spots once I started going through the uni guide, as I do have quite a few that I don't mind doing. Payment of $24 was pretty shocking...was expecting over$50 lol

Getting pretty tired, off to bed before I will need to snore in class. I was thinking on the train this morning that I'm gonna type up a daily entry during the exam period for my own personal viewing...because I know, it would be pretty boring for people to read daily blog entries which are all about exams...but I just want to look back on year12 exams in the future and be reminded about the "exciting" times that I've had.
Bye for now.

ko

2010-08-30T22:12:00.002+10:00

How ludicrous. Talking about conquering anything just last month and before I can prove it, I've been conquered by some crap instead. Ultimate KO. I'm once again defeated and betrayed by my heart in a whole new level. I have no solution. What's weird is that I'm not quite freaking out like I did last time, maybe it's too deep I now find it hard to express it facially. Nevermind..I'll deal with it.

My band-aid for that will be going to RMIT to study...love studying with B, increased concentration, and it's not boring, it's peaceful, it's happy, it's productive. Studying can seriously become my favourite activity in no time!

Just gonna keep entries short...no point trying to find nonsense to talk about!

travelling?

2010-08-12T22:03:00.002+10:00

I wanna go travel at the end of this year...when VCE is finished, when I earned enough, when it's the time to sit back and wait for the results. I've always wanted a pampering holiday in one of those resorts in mornington peninsula, thinking about Tasmania too.
I would like to go either alone or with a close friend.
I wanna see the sunset and sunrise...

through the rain

2010-07-31T16:54:00.004+10:00

I enjoyed the long walk in Spencer Street today, alone by myself, I also enjoyed the way I was walking against the direction of the strong wind. People say, I can't even last a month with only myself...I got mad but inside I also doubted my ability to make it through alone. Today, as I walked, I felt independent and strong...it was as if I could conquer anything.
Music is my therapy.

Through The Rain- Mariah Carey

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes and you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, once you say

*I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain*

And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

*chrous*

And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say

*chrous*

I can make it through the rain
And I live once again
And I live one more day
And I can make it through the rain
(Yes you can)
You will make it through the rain

nowhere but up

2010-06-27T21:38:00.012+10:00

Semester 1 is finally finished! High school will end in less than 4 months, how exciting!! I have absolutely no desire to stay any longer there, and probably there is nothing from there that I will miss. And I'm ready to get rid of everything when I'm done with it.

Oh the retarded manager who I don't give a crap about randomly lashed out at me saying, "alright, you have had enough? then bye." Well spot on man, I have had enough since I don't know when, and he has just figured it out? A bit slow there! @#!^ biatch

I don't have a fever for bieber but I wanted to share this song, it gives me peace and I feel touched listening to it. It's a very visual song, mentioning peaceful environments, I can easily capture the moment..it's peaceful but somehow heavy-hearted. The song is called-

"UP"

It's a big big world
It's easy to get lost in it
You've always been my girl (ah)
And I'm not ready to call it quits
We can make the sunshine in the moonlight
We can make the gray clouds turn to blue skies
I know it's hard baby believe me

*That we can go nowhere but up
From here, my dear
Baby we can go nowhere but up
Tell me what we've got to fear
We'll take it to the sky past the moon
Through the galaxy
As long as you're with me baby
Honestly (honestly)
With the strength of our love
We can go nowhere but up*

It's a big big world
And I'm gonna show you all of it
I'm gonna lace you with pearls (oh)
From every ocean that we're swimming in
We can make the sunshine in the moonlight
We can make the gray skies turn to blue skies
Yeah I know it's hard baby believe me (oh)

Repeats (*)

Baby we were underground
We're on the surface now
We gonna make it girl I promise
If you believe in love
And you believe in us
We can go nowhere but up

Repeats (*)

Epic week!

2010-06-01T18:10:00.005+10:00

A week more to go. The whole week starting from next Tuesday is going to be epic! I was just doing a little plan of what I'm gonna do from 8th-14th, despite the dark side of accounting exam and GAT, I will try to spice it up after that.
-Go to bars?
-clubs?
-people's belated 18th?
-Shop for clothes?
-galactic circus?
-binge drink?(um maybe not, I like to reserve my lady manner)
Whatever it will be, I have promised myself that I'll make use of my recent Learner ID...hehehe

The random dirty picture of the week

Found it dirty yet? It's more than it meets the eye *winks*
This world is hilarious...

Change

2010-05-24T20:25:00.005+10:00

Have you realized, my layout is changed?? I just thought my old one was getting boring, I've had it for over a year, and the html codes were stuffed up so why not make a new one?...yes..this probably look plain comparing to the old one, but I want it to look simple and original.

Time for a change.

I was reading about lady gaga months ago, and it seemed like nobody could get over the the fact that she looks different from how she was. Yes, she used to be an ordinary girl, with ordinary clothes and hairstyles...well, that was before she was famous.

I believe that's her first EP, before she's gaga. Her real name is Stefani Germanotta.

She performed in clubs and bars

Gaga

Okay so she was this innocent looking young girl and now she's all weird and changed into some fame and money bitch. So what's the big deal? Isn't that the current music industry is all about? People like it this way, but these hypocrites won't stop crying over their so called "disappointment" of lady gaga's transformation.
Do you really think Lady gaga can make it to top headlines almost everyday if she stuck with her old style? I doubt it. I remember reading something about her saying,"I might look different, but I'm still the same." So there, she changed for money+fame.Superficially. That's human nature, nothing wrong with it.

Let's just enjoy her wacko fun style, it's just a part of her act and believe that she isn't a so bad person underneath her "mask".

LKH studios

2010-05-17T23:28:00.003+10:00

Pay a visit to LKH studios <---CLICK http://lkhstudios.blogspot.com/

help out=)

It's this wonderful person's blog about photoshop, his artwork and tutorials of photoshop. ^^ I know everybody loves it!

how sad things can get

2010-04-04T17:45:00.002+10:00

The title is self-explanatory. I found myself kicking and punching the cushions when I was home alone...it was almost the first time that I went full on aggressive...through the way of laying my frustration by beating the crap out of the innocent cushions.[not that they have any real crap...] But anyway....
This post is dedicated to the bullshit guys gave me during this week. Look what you ppl have done.

ONE CLICK

2010-03-15T22:54:00.003+11:00

Out of boredom I've created this virtual mini city located in Mongolia. And I'm needing people to CLICK HERE to help me to increase my population so I can give my lovey little town some developments...ie. proper buildings, or...trees! It's only one click and your job is done!

Thank you!!

oh by the way, my mini city is called "riceball" LOL

self-pity

2010-03-10T22:37:00.002+11:00

Don't really see blogging as my habit anymore. I don't feel like it's necessary or I just don't get these urges, even in happy or sad moments. Is this really the end of my 5 years blogging habit?

I don't want to talk about things that's on my mind, I figured that horrible and 95% classified as "useless thoughts" are best to be left undiscussed. Well...in general, my life can be decribed as "juggling balls".
In very breif dot points

I get annoyed with particular people easily. I just feel like ignoring them whenever they call or text.
However I spend 99% of time thinking about them on the train to school.
I am not very resilient.
MM is looking "great".
FM is looking "great" as well
I'm sick of my stupid job.
I don't want to discuss about essay topics on Look Both Ways, ever. For life.
Frankly, I don't have the motivation to join badminton team this year.
I'm sleepy but never get to sleep in on the weekends.
I sometimes just laugh because it's better then crying.

Why am I always so cynical whenever I have to review my weeks? Is it because no good news is worth talking about? Lemme now indulge myself in my world of self-pity. It's my family gene to be self-pity.

great weather....=.=

2010-01-18T14:38:00.003+11:00

Holiday is coming to an end sadly...Not really looking forward to anything next month...absolutely not looking forward to the last week of holiday. I'm just hoping that there will be some good news when I start school.

Tomorrow I'm going to Luna Park...it's meant to be today, but when I woke at 9...it was raining really bad outside so I went texting people, telling them that we should go tomorrow instead. Then I decided to go back to sleep but throughout the whole time, I kept getting messages and my phone was buzzing crazy, waking me every time...I really felt like yelling out "LEAVE ME ALONE IM SLEEPING", was having a slight headache too.

oh and I've just checked, tomorrow will be mostly sunny. ^^ yessss.

Australian Open starts today. It also means that TV will be turned on from morning til night. =P

DIY 2010 calendar

2009-12-30T19:16:00.011+11:00

So I was going around the city to look for a cute 2010 calendar to hang on the wall but no matter how many asian girly stores I went, it was no hope. I have to make one myself. It's probably not a very good idea to start making it on 30th Dec...because I know, I can never finish it before the year ends.

I put a lot of effort into it, very time consuming, I wonder if I can be bothered to do the rest, at the moment, all I've got is January.

Took some photos during the process- [Click images to enlarge]

Lining up the boxes very precisely, got the measurements too lol.This part made me completely nuts! I re-did the measurements for a few times cause they didn't work out the way I wanted!

Putting numbers in

outlining the boxes with blue and filling in some info

Colouring in the boxes, drew the word January!

Drawing cartoon and cupcake in and adding random stars around the calendar [whoops forgot to put "2010" in, I'll do that later=P]

It looks pretty simple...but took me sooo long @.@

christmas

2009-12-25T15:20:00.002+11:00

Merry Christmas

I'm destined to stay home at Christmas. With almost everything closed outside, the city is basically dead when it's supposed to be full of warm Christmas atmosphere.

Christmas' eve was great tho. Well now thinking back, frankly, it wasn't that exciting, what ruined it was when the night ended, when things returned back to silence,when I woke at 6... it was a pinch of bitterness or was it a twist of sourness that lingered in my heart? Too exhausted, I had to sleep thru my confusions.

What was I thinking?

A day

2009-12-18T22:10:00.002+11:00

Finally got a chance to hear the sweet tunes from the piano again, very refreshing, very memorable. Can't help myself from thinking "What if I knew how to play the piano?"

Heard some horrible stories from B,didn't know what to say except for thinking "you deserve better" in my head.

It was better than staying home, not sure if I want another day like this tho. It lacked some laughters, which I craved the most.

plus size strawberry

2009-11-22T14:09:00.006+11:00

Exams are finished[no comment], course confirmation was done very briefly...now there're only orientation left. They are very boring...
There isn't much to do at home, and funny enough, I had a list of to-dos in my mind while studying few weeks back, now I don't remember anything from that list. So I've been having a laptop in front of my face for most of the time, watching this and that...they keep me alive as everyone is packing up, getting ready to go overseas...
ummmm maybe I need to write up a plan or some sort, so I can feel like I've got goals and objectives.

NO I DON'T MISS SCHOOL ALRIGHT?! NO I DON'T....

ok maybe I do....

Oh...a month ago I think,mum bought some strawberries and one of them is VERY large.

normal size comparing the the LARGE strawberry!

Its very heavy too!

YumYumYumYumYum Have fun in my stomach!

bye year 11

2009-11-06T21:40:00.002+11:00

Today at lunch time...year 11 classes official ended.
It's a special day for me because I can clearly remember last year, me saying "year 10 classes officially ended." It was a friday...to be exact, it was 14th Nov...I left school at recess with a 'note', rushing my way to the train station, hoping to get to MC at 11:30am. I even remember what bag I was carrying... as I was going out the school gate, Wells came out from the corridor of C building, asking where I was going, I told him I was going to watch a movie...and he said "Aw lucky you!" It was the day I watched the horror flick "Mirrors" with A.
It's scary. I can recall every little detail of that day. =S The more I think...the more I remember.
Some people said I have a memory of a computer...data never goes away until deleted.
Some say it's a good thing...some say it's bad.
I'm thankful that I have such good memory though...I want to keep all....happy good ones or the painful sad ones. Cause when I'm bored...I tend to through my "files".

Anyway good luck on the exams.
I'm glad year 11 is over. I don't want it to ever repeat again.
And I want time to freeze right now.

an imaginary shopping spree

2009-10-21T21:05:00.014+11:00

I want to shop and be a girl. But I just don't find the time and money to do it.

Here are SOME of the things in my list-

-Body Shop Morindga Body Butter
-Body Shop Born Lippy

-The Face Shop Fruit Bowl Hand Cream Apple/Lemon

-The Face Shop Fruits Jelly Tube PP402
-The Face Shop greatist mascara 01 curling & lash

-The Face Shop Nail Base Coat
-The Face Shop Nail Color - PK107
-The Face Shop Nail Color - BK901
But I can still live without all those...they are just something that I look forward to buy and try. Anyway, there will be another list soon...and I promise it won't be a list of beauty/skin care products.

part 2

2009-10-19T17:02:00.004+11:00

Remember A and B? The ones that got me moping throughout the first semester?
=> http://nightfevermatata.blogspot.com/2009/02/b.html

What should I say about B? Last time we met,I realized we have gone so far apart...too far beyond that somehow made my heart sunk. Do I still have the rights to say I was disappointed? The sense of responsibility, feeling obligated to take care of me has been forwarded to someone new all of a sudden...I felt bad..it almost felt like a "ditch", it was like saying, "I don't need you anymore, B, off you go." But it's alright...I could see that B didn't care. I was just an obligation after all.

About A... From the start of the year...I knew things weren't gonna be the same. It's a story that I can never finish telling...all these changes. All along, I co-operated. I was wide open. I gave it a shot...then another..then another and never seemed to give up. But I did give up eventually and it was that moment when everything came back... Isn't it too late already?
I confronted A last night...from texting to msn...I didn't have the courage to talk about something that I planned to bury in my heart on the phone nor face to face. The reason that I decided to confront and be honest was unknown...more like it was an act of impulse,guilt and continuous discomfort throughout the month. Surprisingly, I'm not regretting anything I said to A. I meant every word. A dismissed the discussion with a quick conclusion, a conclusion that I didn't want...however,it's the best and only way. I reluctantly accepted.

You have no idea how much I want a time remote control and just press rewind...everything goes back to the end of last year...where things were nothing but perfect. Now it seems like such a lost. Guess it's REALLY time for me to move on again...gonna lay all my emotions onto my dearest dearest piggy.

LOOK!

2009-10-15T19:15:00.001+11:00

Wow,look at this! Another post^^ I'm getting back on track~
Don't know why I'm updating again? Probably because of my once in a blue moon "blogging mood"

As usual, Thursday is an extra early finish for me, got home at around 1:30, had lunch and started doing my last minute pictures collecting for my chinese oral. In exactly half an hour time, I will have to do my last minute editing to the script. And in 2 days...I'll be walking in the exam room, talking asian with examiners that I've never met before. Everyone is saying they are so nervous about it. I'm not quite prepared but strangely, "stress" still hasn't hit me yet. I just feel "screwed" instead. What I have in mind tho, is that when I walk in there, I'll just imagine the whole thing will be like me standing at maccas register, taking orders and answering endless questions about the menu from random people. I guess this will help me getting through the nervousness and my "severe blushing level".

P.S. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I'm on a highhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh yeah oh yeahhhh ..was gonna type more but I need to conclude here so that I can continue being HIGHHH~~

I publishedd!!

2009-10-13T19:46:00.004+11:00

Argh im just too lazy to update.

But to be honest, there were so many times during the past weeks that I had a sudden urge to update, so every single time I went on blogger, logged in, and started typing like crazy...I had so so much to say. But once I finished typing, had a read through, then before I clicked publish, I held back and changed my mind..thinking "this is just stupid" @.@ Blogger saves any stuff you typed automatically in every second, so my draft box is now piled up with unpublished stories...haha..

Anyways,during the 2 spares I had this morning, I went to Crystal's accounting class to pass time. Brought some bus man work to do but the main reason I went there was to invade Crystal's hard-working nerdy time to have some girls talk...haven't had one with her for quite a while and it was about time for me to babble out all my not-so-happy stories to her. A very embarrassing topic that took me 15 mins to get it out of myself...lol...Problems weren't solved exactly, well but now at least I feel a lot better after I let it out,despite the fact that it left me feeling distraught for the rest of recess[and recess only=)]. Hunger killed me too.

Very good news from Maths. Another deadly SAC next monday but guess what XD gonna have my chinese oral exam next Monday as well~!~! so I don't go to school that day. oh yes oh yes.

Wow I feel proud for actually typing something and actually publish it as well.

Thank you Crystal la~

long time no type

2009-10-01T12:22:00.002+10:00

last time I updated was 7th september...can't believe I only updated once in the whole september. I think now it's really the time to get back to my blog again before I totally ditch it.

During the past month, a lot of things happened, some are sad,some are happy...in an optimistic perspective, I will consider the majority of them are positives. Influenced by some people, I've been thinking a lot about the future lately...the future that I never dared to think about. Thinking about the future is really a useless thing, sometimes. I mean, planning your week ahead is a good habit,so we can be more organized and use our time effectively.However when it comes to planning the "future" in terms of monthly or yearly or should I say "strategic planning"...it's very unrealistic. Who knows what will happen in a month/year time? Do you know how ridiculous you'd feel when the future doesn't work out just like your plan? Please, I really need a break from all these anticipations.
The future is still very unknown to me. At the very least, I know what I am doing.

=.=

2009-09-07T22:38:00.005+10:00

Errrr don't know what to talk about. Feel like ditching my blog for a while, cbb with it. Well you know what I do when I am clueless about what to say. Post random pics lol. Here we go.

Won't be updating for a while again...unless there's some urgent stuff that I need to talk about, which is not likely to be the case. Otherwise...I'll put this on "hold". Catcha later.

thank you

2009-08-21T21:01:00.004+10:00

I'm here to praise a teacher.
Being a good teacher isn't just about teaching/passing on knowledge to students, there are more to it, for example,being able to control the class without looking like a strict "control freak", making each class interesting and also this one thing which I think is very important- establishing a good relationship with the students.

And there's only one teacher that I know of so far who has fulfilled all the qualities I mentioned above, and this teacher is our Law teacher, Mr T.

To be honest, my first impression of him in year 10 wasn't a pleasant one. When he came in the classroom, he had this very serious and scary look, and would most likely make people think in their head "Oh great! Another grumpy teacher for the year!" In fact, he is a completely different person from what he appeared to be.

He teaches well, makes every class seems so interesting with his frequent humorous remarks, he is reasonable with the amount of work that we do and believes this rare theory that almost no teachers would adopt- "If you work hard enough in class, homework is not required." There's no point doing piles of homework if we do them for the sake of doing them, we won't learn. This theory gives a LOT of motivation to the class, and we are always feeling 100% concentrated during class time.[Well, at least we are willing to try] Comparing that to "doing homework but not paying any attention in class", I'm sure we get more stuff out of paying 100% attention in class. =D

What's best about him is that, when he gives us free time, he doesn't just sit there and type the laptop like any other teacher would do, he actually walks around the classroom and tries to be involved with students' conversation. He doesn't care what kinda topics we are talking about, or how boring/embarrassing/lame the topic is, he still joins and talks with us, giving us a piece of thought, and sometimes he tells us his stories~ They are very nice interactions with students. ^.^

I mean how many teachers in the entire world can do what Mr T does? I feel so honoured and lucky to have a teacher like him, so reasonable, intelligent, with great senses of humour. [Well...except for his not-so-accurate maths skill of simple addition.=P Nah,it's okay. No one's perfect.] I respect him to the max. Thank you Mr T.

nothing

2009-08-19T21:28:00.002+10:00

Don't have much to say...I just thought I shouldn't be lazy and update a bit.
I have 3 SACs this week...amazingly I'm not stressed...I'm finally used to this VCE life man!

Wow...a messy table!!!! Law book...how thick can it get? This was a few weeks back, before we had the law sac and I was just studying and got bored then took a picture. Yes, I was VERY concentrated! haha

Yeah that was random, cause when I don't have anything to say, I just go through folders and find random photos to put on. XD
Sorry, I really don't think I have anything to say. bye now.

HP Pavilion dv6

2009-08-13T20:13:00.003+10:00

My old laptop was officially broken on Tuesday...so I had to buy a new laptop all of a sudden. I really had no idea what to get...

First we went to a store called "Computer Geek", and had set eye on ASUS. Frankly, I don't really trust ASUS anymore, since it's not very durable. So we went to Myer and were interested in a Toshiba laptop, it looked nice but very chunky. Then today, we went to Harvey Norman, this Malaysian old man introduced us a HP, which I liked it a lot too so yeah HP Pavilion dv6 is it! So Happy=)

so now, I'm using Vista(finally) and still trying to get used to it. Obviously there're slight differences from XP...the problem I'm having right now is that I can't find the language tool, its meant to be in the bottom right corner of the screen and it's not there!!! How am I supposed to type Chinese and Korean without that tool!?? Oh god...
Starting from scratch, I once again have to re-install EVERY single programs...@.@ I just cbf right now. Oh and I also have to try out those new features that I've never used in my entire life! Also, I'm needing a cute background, I had some backgrounds saved on my usb but because my current laptop screen is wider than the one I had before, the backgrounds are now too small to cover the whole screen. =.="sigh... fine I'll use those boring default windows background then.

Yay...I have a wireless mouse now=) No more stupid restricting cable with the mouse!!

2nd try

2009-08-01T21:08:00.007+10:00

I got them on camera!!!!
Yes,I'm talking about the possums, last time I accidentally deleted them from my computer, I had a second try last month, and got even better photos of them! Behold, the cuties!~!

Awww....I'm a genius, took the shots when they were eating!

If only this close up was a little bit more clear...=/

I heart possums!!! It's so nice how Flagstaff garden is those cute possums habitat! I can visit them anytime I want!

A really long post

2009-07-24T23:22:00.001+10:00

The highly anticipated camp is over.

All the activities were fun, I loved them, [especially flying fox]haven't been that excited for so long..oh I screamed a lot too. Don't know why but I felt so sleepy after 7 or 8pm each night and I became emotionless throughout the dinners, people thought I was sad.....haha I was fine..just tired. Oh yeah the dressed up dinner was boring...god...and the disco? I sat through the whole thing, how boring. I wasn't quite in the mood for any craziness after dark.

I went for a walk up the hill with a friend after the dressed up dinner. I saw the sky. The sky at night was so breath-taking, shiny stars were EVERYWHERE. It felt like I was in a space museum...the sky was too beautiful that it almost looked unreal. If it wasn't freezing cold, I would've grab my sleeping bag and lie on the grass to watch the stars for the whole night. It was my first time to see such beautiful sky,gotta love the country side!!

Straight after the star-watching was the highlight of the camp. Hell yeah. A lot of people should have heard of this by now. One of our freaky classmate/room mate was having one of her "bad days", she was probably under the influence of her delusional mind and totally backfired 2 whole cabins of people and upset the rest of us Asians. Oh all of the people in my cabin + a guy went through a teachers-students interrogation at 12:30am on a butt-freezing cold night. Seriously? Was it necessary at all??? We were considered lucky to have everything settled this morning.[thanks,crystal] Now the question is- How will this delusional girl survive the rest of her high school life? The answer is unknown. However I can ensure you, no one comes out easy after upsetting the Asians.
Who's gonna back her up now?
This ridiculous event will remain indelible in our hearts.

On the way back from camp on a smaller shuttle bus, with exhaustion,I slept. No...I was half-asleep...and faintly, with my eyes closed, I knew...I felt it...the broad shoulder...the arm that held on tight, warm breaths and whispers...the scarf...fingers that stroked my hair away...very tenderly. I remembered all...I wasn't blushing, but instead, it once again made me realized how much of a womanizer this person is.

If only it was B =p

tiring day!

2009-07-19T18:17:00.006+10:00

Wow I'm like super-tired today...customer areas in Maccas were crazy, and today is a Sunday so the restaurant was packed with people and I worked from lunch time til almost evening, so the peak hours were up to me and only me to manage. I used to think doing front counter was tiring but customer areas are just beyond compare. By saying "customer areas", it means first floor dining,2nd floor dining and outside dining with the total of 12 bins, and 40+tables and chairs, female toilets... the tasks required are very diverse,too! Sweeping, moping,wiping, changing bins, throwing rubbish, cleaning any mess, changing toilet rolls, picking up paper from the floor in toilets, putting back trays...etc. Err.I really can't remember how many times I changed the bins....

So,basically I was running around, upstairs downstairs for the first few hours...how horrible. It was a non-stop,literally. There was a point where I was very dehydrated, I had to take a drink...well the manager wasn't pleased when she spotted me facing the wall in the kitchen area, apparently doing "nothing", but I told her I needed a drink after she suspiciously asked me if I have already checked the toilets. =S Aren't we allowed to at least have a drink for like 1 second?

Despite the hardship, I was really happy at the end of the day tho, I managed everything well at such busy times, and didn't make any mistakes. I hope today's manager was pleased that I did such a fantastic job. And I've just found out that the store manager(the one with the most power) is actually a really nice person, he is willing to do all different kind of work within the restaurant, including the disgusting stuff which is tidying up the "rubbish room" and checking the male toilets. I was soooo grateful when I walked in the rubbish room at 3:30pm, realizing the store manager had tidied up all the rubbish bags and boxes that piled up just before, dumpsters were well organized and in place, rubbish-bag-squashing machine was once again available. It was quite a bit of a nightmare when I thought I had to do those whilst being so busy doing customer areas, but woohoo store manager did it for me!! So caring~

OH~ And after work, I ordered 2 cheeseburgers with only the price of 1~ yumyum

I'm back!

2009-07-11T11:39:00.011+10:00

Finally my laptop has been fixed and everything returns to normal...except for some tiny problems that I'll never know how to fix.

After around a month of applying for a working visa, getting my passport labeled, getting a tax file number and a bank account, then 2 months of applying for maccas and waiting period...I eventually got the job. Just imagine if I didn't get it, I'd go crazy cause I've done so much just for maccas. Anyway,I'm thankful. It's now my second week of being a part of the crew, I'm not the best, but I believe I'm getting better each time...it's very systematic anyway. I do get angry customers tho...there's this person who asked me if I have hearing problems...omg.....ok fine,customers are ALWAYS right, that's what I've been told anyway.

The VERY simple uniform,the cap and name tag...love the name tag,now I don't have to spell out my name when I greet the crew. ^^

OH and GUESS WHAT. I got another Mariah Carey's perfume set for only $55!!!! Thanks to Myer! This time it's called M- Mariah Carey's Luscious Pink~~ SO HAPPY However, I like the original one better, cause it was purple and had a better scent.

This set includes 50ml perfume, 100ml body lotion and a clutch bag! bargain bargain!

-Until next time yay-

stupid signs

2009-07-03T20:56:00.008+10:00

Hey, just dropping by to do an update.
Since my one and only laptop is screwed up, and my busy life packed with family obligations never gives me time to actually go on the internet, oh and also a pile of homework that stops me from going on blogger, so I decided to just briefly put up some photos for your own "entertainment".

I think they meant "crab"...man,so disappointed at this Korean restaurant.

"The MYSTERY dumplings" [Read the English part][Oh and click to enlarge to see the WHOLE sentence =D]

Behold, the Toilet Man!

You know,people can get very stupid sometimes....

Korean Phrasebook

2009-06-21T20:38:00.004+10:00

[Click to enlarge image]

I was flipping through the pages of this Korean Phrasebook, and I gotta admit that this book is VERY detailed. It even provides info for gay travelers. It tells you the way to find locations of gay and lesbian bars and clubs...and that is via the Internet. Oh, it also teaches you how to say "Are homosexuals likely to be harassed here?" in Korean. Hmm. Very Interesting.
I love this book.

Not feeling well

2009-06-18T21:27:00.001+10:00

*Cough* *Cough* I'm sick. >.< Perfect timing...during the active cases of H1N1. Hospitals have now stopped making swine flu testings,they now treat swine flu as normal flus, this is because 1/3 of the Victoria population might have swine flu so the government has decided to let them spread until they are gone. Yep...sounds like a "great plan"..

My body is delicate at the moment, to avoid futher infections, the doctor recommended me to stay at home as much as possible, to avoid going to crowded places, like cinemas, restaurants etc, which means this holiday I'll be mostly staying home, and will try not go anywhere. I figured it's more safe this way...I really don't wanna get sick.

I worry about my next bus man SAC, cause I don't have a clue about this chapter that we are doing, I missed a week of classes and I'm so behind, so unfamilar with any concept about this chapter. =( Sooo drained from bus man...Ms Haynes always tries to comfort me by telling me not to be discouraged from my SAC scores, and every single time I have to act as I'm fine with them, well you know what I'm not fine, and frankly, who would be happy and encouraged to get ugly results anyway? After a while...I'm not even sure how much I regretted on picking an enchancement subject that I don't enjoying learning. Even maths is more interesting.

Did you know...

2009-06-04T21:28:00.002+10:00

Yeah and hey, I'm putting away my Law and Maths books and just gonna update my blog for a while to...um..regulate my stress level. It's no stressing really, I was more stress last year. It's probably because I've been through exams last year, and now they seem nothing so stressing but just a normal SAC paper which has to be done in the hall/hab in 2 periods. =/

Can't wait til next Tuesday to finish all the exams. hehehehe I'm already thinking what I should do straight after...um I'm planning to shop at Melbourne central!!~!~! I need some earrings, lip gloss and some shit..maybe I'll get one of the old MC album in JB hi-fi. ^^

Oh guess what, I'm gonna start a "DID YOU KNOW..."column. It's a column that contains some facts on a particular topic either about myself or a discussable issue. So by far I have a "good & bad news"column, "Random news" column, and "Did you know..." column. LOL yay haha

Today's topic: MY FACE

Did you know....

I cannot use face cleansing products that contain soap.
Which means that I can't use most scrub cleansing foam products that are design to intensively wash away oil, dirt and other substances.
If I use the soapy based scrub foam(which I do sometimes), I apply QV bath oil to my face beforehand.
I got sick of doing that so now I use Clean & Clear Deoxygenated cleansing foam. No soapy feeling.
I use toner after each wash.
I use face moisturizer after toner.
I am currently using Nivea Intensive Moisturising Creme.
I gave up on cucumber face treatment since last year after doing it for about 2-3 months.
This was because I cbf cutting up thin slices of cucumber and leave them on my face while lying on my bed doing nothing for 30 minutes...EVERYDAY
I use a VERY effective pimple cream. It's a chinese product called "999" (Yes, the HK emergency number)
Apparently this "999"cream, if consume in large quantity in consecutive weeks, will harm skin, leaving yucking marks and scars.
I use it anyway. just not everyday.

Until next time.

16 days have passed!

2009-05-24T23:05:00.003+10:00

Been apart from blog for 16 days...during these days, the stuff that I wanted to talk about piled up until I forgot them...then piled again until I forgot again. I just couldn't bring myself to click that "New Post" button. Why? I see blogging as my burden now? Why? Why s..so l-lazy?

Please. I will type a long enough post to last another 2 weeks.

Yes I am doing a count down on msn and yes it's a count down for the most mind-destroying thing on earth--Mid term exams. Don't even mention the hair-pulling maths.

Oh yeah I was glad that the last bus man SAC wasn't a very hard one..even though i didn't completely finished...at least I am a bit more confident this time. Wait, this question has just popped up in my mind...do the advantages and disadvantages have to be related to the case study? =.= Oh man..I DID NOT relate them. .... .... .... I'm scared. And very recently, I've been thinking to do economics for year 12 next year, it's true that I've never done any economics in the past 2 years and also this year, but I'm willing to give it a try. It'll be my 7th subject, it can be used to replace a subject that I might do bad on [eg.bus man, maths]. Well if I fail economics then I'll just ditch it alright. perfect plan. ~.~

Random news time

I'm 17 hell yeah.
I'm sick of people that borrowed my pens and never give em back. THEY have the responsibility of returning my property.
I'm sick of this other person who dishonestly appropriate my property with the intention to deprive it of me permanently.
I am loving law.
I don't have chinese hw for the third executive week. [Is this a dream?] [Slap me please.]
It turns out that I do not need to pay a penny for the camp at all.
I got sick of badminton.
I feel like a bitch today so to the people that I don't particularly enjoy seeing at school when I'm around---you know, I'm only tolerating you[s] right up until now because I know I will never have to see you[s] again after 2010.
I also feel like an angel today so to the people that I LOVE seeing at school when I'm around---you know, I'm only sticking around with you[s] because I know I will never have the same amount of chances to stick with you[s] again after 2010.
I hope you all now get my point. I seriously don't think I'll be keeping in touch with a lot of people after 2010. I'm always very bad at it.
Oh please, I just want to ditch everyone. you are all useless.
JUST KIDDING.
Why So SerIouS-Sa?

I am finally here

2009-05-09T23:07:00.003+10:00

So I spent yesterday's morning's chinese school doing productive work...which is decorating my school diary. lol it's now really colourful in the first page also with a lot of cute drawings in other pages. =D I know, nice work,right? Oh crap, I didn't hand in last week's hw...== I was trying to hide under the table when she came around collecting them. =P hehe [ewww...there were so much chewing gum stuck under the table! YUCK]

Um...haven't touched the blog for ages, neither have I visited any blogs. Also haven't done much on facebook, there's like nothing there I can do. I can't believe my interest for facebook is slowly fading away. Oh and did I mention that I completely quit watching WWE?== There's no more FOX8 anyway. sigh. Also no more english football, cause there's no more FOX sports 1. So now, I dedicate all my free time to Youtube. That's right Youtube. I watch basically everything. Yep, browsing on Youtube while others are playing DOTA, WOW......etc

Dude, I better start keeping in touch with some people...for example those few friends in hk, Miss Charenton, B, jay..that's all I think.

I went to Flagstaff garden with mum at night the other day, and we saw possums running around as we expected...but this time mum went up to its face and took a close up picture. When I attempted to transfer this pic to my comp today...I accidentally deleted it..shit...I know,shit!It just kinda happened...damn if i was being more careful,I would have put this pic up my blog by now=(

never say no to me

2009-04-28T22:46:00.002+10:00

Yo.

First week of school was alright.Last Wednesday was a hit- a very "interesting" bus man seminar. I went totally crazy after that, because I bored out the sessions and I just had enough reasons to go wacko for the my extra after school class. My craziness continued on the train. Great!~ now every asians think I'm a crazy girl. @.@ sifffff
This week, has still been alright, except for a few annoying bullcrap that I had to endure, otherwise, things have been fine. Oh,badminton is boringggg...can't believe my favorite sport is turning into a boredom. I cbf playing if there's no improvement or practice involved, seriously man,I can't play without motivation. Watch my skills sink to the bottom T.T

Ho ho ho~! Today, I effortlessly convinced my fantastic[& nerdy.lol] friend Michael to do my chinese book report for me!!!!! thankyouthankyouthankyou ^.^ YAY! I wonder if he's actually working on it right now at 11pm...well he better does it and hand it in to me by tomorrow!! muhahaha I'm so evil.
Once again I proved "no one says no to Vinchi"! hehe.
But seriously, that made my day, I was worrying about it so much,almost turned into an emo for it. But now, the rain is over and I can see some light...and the rainbow. [so random alright]

Goodbye. you know you love me xoxo

summing up

2009-04-19T18:34:00.003+10:00

Fancy a chinese book report? That's what I have to do. AND that's only PART of what I actually have to do for the life-wasting chinese homework pile. No offence,but I mean it, it's wasting my brain power.

So the holiday passed really quickly as usual. And now it's a perfect time to sum everything up.

The one thing that I forgot to talk about in my last post was the athletics day. It started off quite well, with me going crazy over little things,but good things never last, the day ended up with the a thunder storm, people were soaked, it was just ugly.

Back to the holidays, I didn't go out much. Maybe it's because I went out too much before the holidays started. So the only outing that I attended was the movie Knowing,which I've been planning to see all along. It's great to see Camberwell High School on the big screen. The storyline wasn't that bad, it's just...a bit..unrealistic?...with all the ideas of aliens,funny looking spaceships and judgement day...um I really don't think that's gonna happen in my years of living, but it was pretty thrilling to see the whole world that we've always lived in being destroyed. It's worth 7/10.

I've finished watching hk drama-forensic heroes II. I thought it was gonna end with an aching ending, but it didn't, which I was really content with. =) happy happy!

Yeah actually not much happened during the term break, I want to tell more, but there isn't anything except for computer and TV........ and homework of course. Sigh~ it's a brand new term tomorrow, gotta do some packing, take out my winter uniform, start a new page in the diary and get depressed.

Oh, by the way, is anyone aware that the exams are in 1 month?

Busy

2009-04-08T23:44:00.002+10:00

"Busy" is such a good excuse to everything. Busy with school,busy with work, busy with family, busy with friends, busy busy busy. I'm sure everyone more or less has used "being busy" as a fake excuse to hide from obligations even when they actually have nothing in hands to do.

The word "busy" is exploited.........AnYwAy...--->

Alright, I want to talk about something more productive, if I have any.
Oh *Ding* That's right, I nearly forgot about my "Good & Bad News" column. Well here you go, Vinchi is now delivering you the hottest and latest Good & Bad News update about her "G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S flossy flossy" life. *Applause please*

These weeks good news:

Woo hoo it's term break! Go wild.
I have become more Asian than ever.
I have found a new celeb to look up to- Eric Suen!
There'll be no chinese school for 3 consecutive weeks. SCORE.
Computer is now my best friend.
HK drama is also my best friend.
My parent teachers interviews turned out fine!
I bought a packet of original-flavored chips!

These weeks bad news:

The virus Conficker is hiding in my comp's system, preparing for an attack and will eventually eat my comp away. Those freaken losers.
And I found no solution to kill that mother-conficker.
I have homework.
I didn't go wild(referring to good news number 1)
I have no plans for the term break.
damn cant think of any more bad news.

Now would you please excuse me, I'm REALLY BUSY with things, so I'm gonna stop typing.

Happy Birthday B!

Khalil Fong

2009-04-02T18:50:00.012+11:00

Last day of classes...of term 1
Morning was rather like a normal routine, except I had to buy a train ticket at 7-11. Walking through Flinders Street's underground subway, a man with a guitar was singing "More Than Words"...depressing enough.

The rest of the day wasn't quite normal I dare to say. I have gone crazy from the start of period 2, while I was having a spare with people. Stole Daren's glasses frame, trying to look cool and fashionable like him, according to the majority of feedback, I looked hilarious and very amusing with that frame.[Tho I thought I looked extremely pretty and cute with them=P].......[yeah what a joke]

KHALIL FONG. I totally looked like him.
Here's some proof, enjoy =)

Liking our unique style of eye wear? We are totally using the same brand.[The frame]
By the way, the 2nd picture is him...yeah I just thought you guys might have difficulty recognizing which pic is him.[LOL]
I have no idea who he really is...all I know is that he's a singer.
PLEASE DON'T TRY TO CONVINCE ME THAT I DON'T LOOK LIKE HIM. YOU KNOW I DO. I KNOW I DO.

Well back to what I was gonna say. So I was taking pictures with Crystal during our spare, then David joined, then Jane and Anita joined. Then in Maths, it was the funniest double Maths I've ever had in my life, because I did nothing and continued my wacko behaviour. Thanks Ms Evans, she complimented on my "Khalil Fong" look...[but I was actually wearing 2 glasses at that moment] Haha she's so nice. Mr Koo came along and I pointed at him to Wells and said "Hey look, he's your favourite glasses" LOL whoops I was meant to say "favourite teacher" somehow I got distracted and left everyone cracking at my mistake. hahahahaha XD I'm nuts,I swear.

Lunchtime was nothing but saying byes to people. I gave Mr Stroud the farewell card and thanked him once more for his kindness. Us international students will miss him heaps.

*Yawn* Yeah overall I was today's favourite clown. woo hoo~

ummm

2009-03-30T23:19:00.000+11:00

Haven't updated much lately cause there wasn't anything worth talking about. Now everyone is counting down to their term break and I'm no exception. When is this endless week gonna end...?

As expected, I have left some bullshit behind and have tried to move forward but sadly more bullshit coming from everywhere again...um guess I'll have to deal with them all over again. Casual talks with some particular people have been reduced because there seemed to be nothing interesting enough to start a conversation, why bother when there's gonna be awkward silence within a minute or two,righttt?

Well to be frank, I'm rather feeling annoyed. Realizing what a mess I've created on Saturday.[except for the entertainment part] And how much of a shit day was Sunday. Couldn't even tell a story properly on the phone, stuttering, tongue went weird and mispronounced almost every word I said. What a failure... and I call myself a bilingual speaker?
Oh, yep...I told B e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, everything that happened at school,outside school, gossips, my thoughts, the truth. I don't care if he's able to help or not[well, he can't]...I just wanted an outsider to listen.

I lied more=P

2009-03-18T20:49:00.003+11:00

Yep whatever...I'm still writing on my blog...[shut up natalle=D lol],big deal.

I hid in the toilet with Vera and Crystal while those suckers were having their athletics meetings XD hope you guys had fun being forced to sign up an event. We were just chatting in the toilet and worrying that a random teacher would walk in and "catch" us. hahhahaha so funny.

Oh, I've just realized how much is actually going on within my circle of friends. It's only been a month or so and I see how many new-found gossips are taking place. Gossips...as if I was ever into those. But this new gossip is pretty "attractive" that I actually would be the on the initiative to ask questions about it, to get as much as info I can....wow I can't believe I've become that nosy. Normally I really couldn't care less.

Thinking back, why do I even take interest in the first place? It's totally none of my business...

I lied =P

2009-03-16T20:50:00.001+11:00

ok I did say I was gonna ditch my blog for a while, but I decided to do this one last post and that's the end of it....well at least for 2-3 weeks. I wanna see if I can survive without typing this, to have absolute isolation from the cyber world.[facebook not counted alright! I'm an addict!=P ooo,That can be a challenge one day]

Right now my mp3 is playing "My love" by The-Dream feat Mariah Carey, and it's on repeat. I can never get enough of MC. I was watching her live 90's performances of "Hero" and "Without You". Her voice was too awe-inspiring that it almost brought me to tears. Well...that was all before she got all glamorous and bitchy-like. yeah yeah...that's life, I don't blame her, she's just trying to fit the trend,it's her job. I still love her.

This movie "Knowing" by Nicholas Cage will be out next week. A very special film, as I watched the trailer, I saw Cage running in Camberwell High School C building ground floor. I saw our lockers too. Then I saw A5. was it A5 or A6? well it was the room with the pushy door with the old fashioned lock.[not A7 tho]. I am so excited, I AM GOING TO WATCH IT.

Haven't met up with B for at least 2 weeks. And I'm not planning to. It's really better off this way. I hope I don't get any phone calls from B either. Seriously I prefer no disruptions. Now let's just get on with our lives please.

job hunting

2009-03-10T23:31:00.003+11:00

Um so I've walked in a restuarant that was offering a waitress position and I told them I came for the job. It was actually my first time to talk to strangers to ask for a job...It felt hilarious. I talked to this lady who firstly asked me if I can speak Cantonese(cause apparently,speaking Cantonese for this waitress job is more advantaged). So it was absolutely no problem for me to speak Cantonese, I quickly told her that I'm from HK[hoping she would feel delighted,lol], then she asked me the following questions:

How old are you?
Have you had experience?
So you're still at school? (I was wearing uniform)
Are you gonna be at school for the whole day?

I answered all her questions decently(I hope I did). Then she asked me if I have a resume...oh whoops..I didn't know chinese jobs need resume too? Well I honestly said no, then she just randomly gave me a notepad and told me to write some details about me and how many shifts I want to do each week...and also the avaliable time. I told her I have worked in a restuarant kitchen for a month but not waitress, then she was saying I might need training...right..ok. So yeah, she's gonna call me if she decides to employ me. man I don't like to wait for phone calls XP

Now let's just pray I'll score this job.

moomba & earthquake

2009-03-07T14:58:00.002+11:00

Eh? earthquakes...since when Melbourne has experienced a significant earthquake like last night's?
It was strange yet "interesting". It was my first time to be in one. Lucky that nothing fell apart. phew~ Our lives are now at risk. *siren*

Well yeah, moomba waterfest, this coming Saturday,Sunday and Monday. Briefly read through the schedule, many events are the same like last year's. I went to see birdman rally last time, it was so funny to see people making their own "flying machines" then tested it at yarra river's dock...so I was basically just watching people jumping into the yucky river and get wet from head to toe. ahahaha. I planned to go this year as well, but seems like I will have other things to attend at noon.

Oh, business management sac,both classes didn't do well,but it only counts less than 10% towards the final so don't worry.

I've been wanting to watch SAW 5. Well, I always just watch horror movies by myself and never really ended up with nightmares, but surprisingly this time, I was too wimpy to watch SAW 5 with only myself in front of the screen. I had a brave attempt, but totally ditched it after the first 5 minutes, just BEFORE the man gets cut in half...I didn't want to see that scene this quick! geez. T.T

Lastly have a great moomba weekend.

I have figured out

2009-03-02T21:30:00.003+11:00

So last week was all the tests and SACs, right, I thought I could just loosen up after Friday. Every time when I thought I can relax for the day, the next second I'd realize school related work is not over yet. And it was the same case last week, I ended up spending a big part of my weekend preparing for oral presentation and some maths. My plan on going "wild" went down the drains.

They never seem to stop, there just isn't one day where I can just sit back and watch TV. This life...coming home being tried, realizing there're more to do, thinking about how everyone is telling me to work harder eg. teachers, friends, family etc. Counting all the VCE,ENTER score, working effort talks that I've heard, they're enough to record a few dozens of cassettes tapes. I'm not quite sure how much longer I can cope.

I know...everyone has their own different pressures and expectations, but it's just stupid to let these pressures to take over our lives. If reaching an expectation is all we see in life, we might as well be robots[even though sometimes I do wish I'm a robot]. But one thing that gets me is, B warned me not to be competitive. I wish I could agree. But isn't this world a competition itself already? advanced technology, fashionable clothes, delicious food, faster Internet speed,mobile phones etc, they exist because of competition, and who benefits from them? It's us.

So why can't I be competitive like the others? Even tho I didn't like being competitive that much before, if that can make us get better, then why not? Oh, all those silly challenges I get everyday... if I don't bite back once, I'll be wearing an incompentent tag on my back. For the people that are just like B who doesn't like competition, well, at times, you gotta save your own dignity and pride, or you'll be outta business. At the end of the day, it's you who get the benefit.

If A can disregard his inner emotions and be competitive, so can I.

Thanks to them, all these stimulations they gave me have made me stronger in mind. Now, finally, I think I'm gonna be fine on my own.

What we sow is what we reap.....[& beware ants attack]

2009-02-25T22:20:00.003+11:00

The first thing I heard this morning was mum's screams...I got outta bed in absolute terror. It was already 8:10am. Yep...first thing in my mind,"I'm going to be late for school". The latest train that I can catch and not be late is the 8:16 one,well obviously there was no way I could make it to Flinders in 6 mins. I ended up getting a late pass at 9:15 for the first time in my entire life. hahahahahahahaa XD Lateness is a SERIOUS "offence" in hk schools, so I am programmed to be punctually on time or as early as possible. Yeah I know...I'm a freakishly obedient kid.

A fellow year 12 bus man student impressed me. It's funny how his little random act of kindness could simulate my tiniest gratitude toward this.......world. For that split second,I thought this world still has a lot of nice and decent people,it's just that I haven't met them all yet. It was like.....,well almost like my long-hidden biases have disappeared. And I also came to an understanding that there's always a solid and tangible reason behind a success. "What we sow is what we reap." So all the best to this fellow bus man student, he fully deserves his achievements.
Man...I'm having a Gattaca moment. =|

Eww...did you guys see the damn freezer in the VCE center today? It was just gross. Since I don't usually use the word "gross" to describe anything, because my gross-0-meter is more extreme than other people, so when I say something is gross, it means the freezer in VCE center is unbelievably gross, for real. Ants everywhere...frozen ants. Is this like an ants attack?And they all stuck together in a lump,so from far away, u might think they are just dirt...but when you look closely...you can see they are frozen chunks of ants....stuck on the interior door and walls of the freezer...a white interior contrast with the black eerie frozen patches of ants. This image is still giving me goosebumps...YUCK! Who on earth is gonna clean up that mess???!!?

I talk more

2009-02-23T21:44:00.000+11:00

Finally force my myself to painfully took my earrings out after 2 months,you know..it was really the time to clean them...I feel proud of myself. XD XD

The workload has been ridiculous lately.I wonder what it will be like if I get a job most likely next month or so,I guess I should start to be organized and learn to have a good time management. And I should somehow start doing some exercises???? any type... having said that,it doesn't mean that I'm missing PE classes, cause I don't. I'm living a rejoice PE-free school life. That's probably the best thing about year 11,except for the spares. =D

Hey!I'm getting extra 2 spares from Mr Bennett this wednesday!!! And they are P 5 and 6!! ok screw the international students homework club after school! guess it doesn't matter if I skip it once?I was always there anyway! So I decide to be a rebel for this one day.

Oh yeah, I got the tute group captain unpaid job...without having people to vote. Ms Velos totally made the decision by herself[dictatorship!!lol], but because of Crystal's "appeal", she then let everyone to casually put their hands up to vote...yeah that didn't help much,as so many people did not bother voting, no changes were made. Oh,Teddy is my partner!! yay!11F rocks the year level! We have all the elite smarty pants, thank you very much. ^^

A & B

2009-02-20T23:47:00.001+11:00

Today I got home even late. Last friday was almost 5 when I got home, this friday was almost 6. It was because of my friends...for their sake,I totally sacrificed my study and homework time to meet up and "talk". Don't really wanna mention their names here but there were 2 of them...and for the people who heard me complaining non-stop about a person last 2 weeks, yes, one of them is him.[Just name him A for now]And you should probably have guessed who the other person is.[Name him B for now]

So yeah we met up and it was all cool...then it started to get boring...[Although A has now returned to his normal mood, B has always been happy] It was just tough for me to find something to talk about. I was basically silent but still managed to make a few reluctant laughs occasionally.So A and B were talking about TAFE and uni stuff, and without surprise, they were both having different thoughts and opinions just as I expected...so B had to quickly change the topic to avoid furthur arguments. [Yeah and just few days ago,B told me that A is currently a bit vulnerable...bull...he was the one attacking B during their talk today.] Well, I just felt really uncomfortable listening to the conversation... then for the rest of the time,I just quietly watched B playing A's iphone. No one talked. What a productive time.

Even though things seem to be going back to normal for A, I still have this awkwardness inside me and not to be able to be myself when A is around. I know..I do blame myself for not getting over little things like that. I still remember clearly how happy we were when A, B and I were gathering last year. I'm still not accepting the change.Call me stubborn...thick head,stupid,whatever.

And now I can see the distance we have among the 3 of us...I don't even know what brought us into this. I don't even know why this is such a big deal. The fact is I've put too much effort...I've tried too many times,pursuing...and at this very moment, I'm hanging on the edge, with just a thread in hand.
All I know is- nothing is a certainty.

cute template

2009-02-19T21:21:00.003+11:00

Thanks to Crystal...my blog has just got a brand new cute look~! Ahh I love it!! Although I still have to go through some codes to fix minor errors. And apparently, the comments box isn't working? What should I put on the "others" page? It was great fun doing a make-over for this...I finally learnt some basics of html...gosh..~

Back to what I wanna say about school. The week has been positively great, I don't know why...I'd just consider things to be good if I don't remember any bads. Recess and lunchtimes are getting so much better than last year,at least now I have something to do during those times. International students after school sessions are also getting more productive and useful, 1 room for each year level, so now I don't have to endure the terrible noise pollution by those 3 year 10 Vietnamese girls. Are their voices loud enough?

Today, I finally have sent in my working visa application form,hopefully I'll be working in no time!Aww...that costs 60 bucks! $$$

Oh photos day. I'm praying I'll look alright. Here comes my self-consciousness XD....

next week is where all the tests and SACs roll in...

Pre-V day?

2009-02-13T23:52:00.001+11:00

Wow...wooo...it's Friday again??? It wasn't very long since the last Friday...I still remember the boredom I was in for Bus man. Talking has now become a major must-do in bus man...it's really dominating my bus man life. Friday is the longest day,by the time I got home, it was almost 5...and 5pm is my laziest time of the day. So I had a shower and grabbed a quick snack, during snack time,I went out to the balcony[which I seldomly go to], with the greek yoghurt in hand, I was staring at/enjoying the view of The amazing melbourne central's glass cone. Today isn't Valentine's Day yet, why is everyone[Well,some] is holding a bunch of roses??? I met my friend at Flinders, he was holding a bunch of roses,planning to deliever it to a so called friend. I didn't question him anything about it,cause it might look like I'm such a desperate loner admiring and dreaming about recieving roses. I didn't want to look that ridiculous,I am not anyway. [But that damn bunch must cost some big bucks.]
After a few minutes of self-company on the balcony, I went back in and started doing chinese homework...that didn't last long until it was dinner......eatng time once again. Dinner was great because there was Spicy, and that's all I need in a meal. It was divine. Went on the internet at 8 til now and eventually ended up typing this at 11:16. Sleepiness hit me hard,unexpectedly.

This week's good news-

Yay.The week went quickly!!
Yayy.I'm not lonely in bus man anymore!
Yayyy.Mr Bennett totally forgot about the test we were meant to do on Wednesday!
Yayyyy.I'm over and recovered from whatever I was stick with last week.

This week's bad news-

Blah, still so behind in Maths.
Blahh, I need a goddamn witness for my application form. ie,principal,police,judge and other professional people
Blahhh, I lost my ruler...my beloved ruler...
Blahhhh, I found out that my MP3 still got some small problems after fixing it for 2 TIMES in HK, man I gave up!

Yes,good and bad news balanced. I can't be bothered recalling my week to mention all the good and bad news, it's like finding bones in en egg, because this week,I dare to say, was the simpliest week I've ever had...................in term 1 of 2009. LOL

Update

2009-02-09T21:09:00.002+11:00

Sooo much happened during last week, it's not funny. >.<>.< Mannnnn

Still counting down to the release of Mariah Carey's new album AND she's gonna have another new perfume called "Forever"...oh great, now this time I'm pretty sure I won't buy it since I already got 2 of hers. Can't she just stick to SINGING???

good & bad news

2009-02-08T22:24:00.002+11:00

The weekend ended quickly. And I don't want it that way!!
I have just finished a week of school, and it wasn't much of a fun thing to do[especially getting up in the morning on SAT for chinese], but what can we say? It's something we are supposed to do,like it or not. It did seem like nothing so breath-taking took place during the week but frankly, it'll take a day to finish my stories, yet I'm speechless at this very moment.

Damn I really struggle to find something to type on this,normally I just consider what I want to say takes too long to type,so I just give up, and end up bullshitting most of the time. [Just like now] Or I would just talk about studies at school, but I totally got bored of rambling study stuff all the time, it gets old.....and we should all know what classes are like by now without me mentioning right? So I might as well skip that part for now.

Ah that's right,from now on,I'll be having a good & bad news column each time I blog.[Well,maybe every second time]. So enjoy =)

Past week's good news-

None. Nil. {will have HEAPS coming soon though!=)}

Past week's bad news-

Argh shoot, Ashlee is outta my Bus Man class!
Arghh shoot, Chinese oral exam is scarying me!
Arghhh shoot, I lost a friend! [it was painful]
Arghhhh shoot, my singlet was being tossed by the wind to some random's roof! And I can't get it back!! GOD DAMN IT.
Arghhhhh, shoot, the immigration department was closed when I got there on Friday and now I have to go there again tomorrow!!
Arghhhhhh, shoot, I ran out of bad news.

Take it easy.

Migrate

2009-02-02T21:07:00.003+11:00

Ahhh,migrate. A Mariah Carey's song. But I'm not gonna talk about MC at the moment.

As we all know,today was the first day of VCE,year 11. I was pretty excited about it. We used our "precious" period 1 and 2 to sort out tut group stuff,allocating our lockers and all sorts of trifle which we have already gone through them in the past years.
A new year also means it's the time for a little migration. As for me, I migrated to another bottom locker(for the 5th consecutive year that I had a bottom one) and this one's condition is far worse than the last one I had. From some "forbidden" corridors, we are going to migrate to the VCE center, so in this way,we will no longer look like those homeless vagabonds who get kicked out every time for eating in corridors. Furthermore, we are migrating from green to red. [yeah you know I'm referring to our jumper]

This is a year to feel somehow special.

The course confirmation last year took away my last hopes of Year 11. Thankfully today, my hopes have reappeared, and it seems so unreal that it's almost like a miracle.

Umm,so many new students. I don't even know if I should start socializing with new faces. I sometimes get tired from trying to be actively social. It requires sooo much energy to break the ice. But Crystal seems nice. =)

hot

2009-01-28T21:32:00.002+11:00

The weather is getting hotter each day. It has reached 40C+. The heat is basically unbearable,especially for the tennis players in Australia Open 09.

After long hours on the plane,I'm finally back in Melbourne. It's time to catch up with some holiday homework that I've left since the start of December. I found it hard to write properly,my writings somehow have changed a little bit,because I did not pick up a pen to write at all during my time in HK. The required set work and questions seem to go on endlessly. When will I get them all done?

Other than those stuff I mentioned above, I don't really have anything else to say.

leaving soon

2009-01-21T01:45:00.003+11:00

I'm coming back to Melbourne this Friday. A mixed feeling about this...but rather contradicting. Yes, I have missed a lot of things and people in Melbourne. When I'm at the "missing" moment, it seemed like I almost cannot go on and live without them. I had an urge of flying back right away.
But when it comes to HK, I have something else different in mind.
A few days ago,I met up with my estranged primary school friends. Before the meeting, I was expecting countless of awkwardness,embarrassment,silence and boredom. Having thoughts like that scared me just to see them.But things turned out the opposite of what I imagined. The excitement we had completely blew me away. It was the kind of happiness that I haven't had for ages. Very refreshing. We never ran out of topics...nor laughters.

I gotta admit,it was unbelievable. I couldn't believe I had such a memorable and wonderful time with the people that I never talked to since the last day of primary school.

You can say I'm greedy, but I want everyday of my life to be just the same as that day.

HK is a life with sparkles and neon lights...shining and shimmering.

I want the HK life in Melbourne.

2009

2009-01-04T00:45:00.005+11:00

I've been too busy that I couldn't update my blog once again before 2009. Many people were out on New Year's Eve but I came home just before 12am because I was too tired to stay for the count-down at Timesquare. I missed out the fireworks too. Shamefully I was taking a shower when the crowd was doing their count-down.T.T oh well....However,I must admit that it was a moment worth celebrating. It was the end of the somewhat terrible 2008. It's a new start again. Because of that,I got myself a new look,changed my wardrobe and hopefully I'll be very different when I get back to Melbourne at the end of this month.

I also made a list of new year's resolutions. This time,the list looks more realistic and achieveable. Business Mangagement and Chinese come first, other than those, everything else comes second.

But before I can acheive anything, I pray for some luck to get me started.

Macau & GuangZhou

2008-12-22T01:36:00.003+11:00

I'm in guangzhou and lucky enough,I still have computer and Internet. Good,I'm still getting hold of my life.Referring to my last entry,I get to post something before the end of 2008. Mum said she'll try to make it back to HK by 31st Dec. But frankly,I don't mind spending New Year's Eve and the count down in GuangZhou. I think I'm gonna enjoy it more here than HK.

The only problem I find it here is showering......yeah,what a weird problem. It's very inconvenient. I don't really wanna put in great details about how "inconvenient" it is and how I shower with inconvenience. But you get my point...it's a big hassle for me to shower cause I'm not used to it...yet.

Oh,by the way,before arriving in guangZhou at 6:30pm, I also had a quick and easy 4-hour tour in Macau.[which we spend 2 hours of it for yum cha XD] Macau aka Asian Las Vegas, has changed heaps in these 4 years or so. It has really modern casinos and hotels. I took quite a lot of photos. It's also a very laid back town, obviously,Macau has a small population,so there aren't many people in the streets around,even on Sundays. So,after the brief re-union with my mum's friend,we headed off to GuangZhou.

So that was my today's adventure.